As we go through life, we pick up mental and emotional wounds. Some of them are big, and some are small, but everyone has received some at one point or another.
The nasty thing about emotional and mental wounds (consolidated to just emotional for this article) is that we have a natural tendency to keep them from healing completely. This leaves a constant drain on our mental and emotional resources.
It’s somewhat like an improperly healed broken bone. The bone is no longer broken, and it appears to be fine from the surface, but there is still discomfort and possibly pain.
They share something else, too… in order to heal them completely, you have to first experience the hurt all over again. To heal a bone properly that set wrong, you first have to break it. In order to heal emotional wounds, you first have to rip off the scar.
Where do you start the process of healing?
You start with internal quiet. Internal quiet is the state where you mind has become quiet, where all the distractions and thoughts from the day have had their chance.
When you reach this stage, your mind is free from the daily distractions that keep you from really getting anything accomplished. That leaves you mentally “available” to deal with things from times other than today… like old emotional wounds.
So I’ve told you what interal quiet is, and one of its benefits (it has a lot of other benefits), so you may be wondering how you actually go about achieving it. Here it is, the 6 step guide to achieving internal quiet:
Find A Place To Be Alone
The first thing you need to find internal quiet is a place where you can be alone, without interruptions. Alone, in this case, doesn’t just mean physically… it also means turn off your cell phone and any other way that someone can interrupt you. The last thing you need when trying to deal with the day’s distractions is more distraction.
Being interrupted can be bad enough that you have to start all over again… so try to find a place, and time, where it won’t happen.
Close Your Eyes
Your mind automatically gives priority to what your eyes tell it, so closing your eyes robs it of this input, allowing you to focus on what has already been input. You may be able to achieve internal quiet without closing your eyes… but you’re just making it harder to do so by providing more distractions and input with which you then have to deal.
Concentrate On Your Breathing
Breathe in deeply, and breathe out completely… and while you’re doing so, concentrate on the feel of the breath coming into your lungs and sliding out of your mouth. As you continue with your breathing exercise, try to slow your breathing down as well as keeping it deep.
This step deals with the physical tension that interferes with mental and emotions processes, causing tension there, as well.
Let Whatever Comes Up… Come Up
Now your body is relaxed (or relaxing), and things are going to come into your mind. It might be pictures, thoughts, or memories… it doesn’t matter what it is, just let it come. Trying to suppress or drive out these things that come up is counterproductive. It causes mental and emotional tension just when you’re trying to get rid of it.
Instead of trying to push away the images and thoughts, just let them be. Look at them, acknowledge them for what they are, and accept them… they are your thoughts, coming from below the surface of your conscious mind, and denying them is ignoring what that deeper level is trying to communicate to you.
Let It Go
The final step is to let it go. Let each thought, image, and feeling that comes into your mind be accepted as yours, and then let it go. Almost all emotional and mental pain, other than at the instant the event occurs, is a result of not letting it go… holding it inside and, in the worst cases, dwelling on it.
Each thing you let go is one less thing weighing you down, which frees up those resources for dealing with the next thing, and letting it go, too.
You’ll likely need to go through several cycles of 4-6 when you first start reaching for internal quiet, and again when something major happens. Don’t try to push yourself or rush the process… it won’t work. This is one thing that absolutely has to go at its own pace.
When you’ve completed the list above (however many times that takes), you should be in a calmer place. How long it takes varies quite a bit… mostly with how much stuff you have built up over the years, how many and how thick your walls are. If you keep up the practice of finding internal quiet, you will find you have less mental stuff pending, and it gets easier and quicker each time.
When you reach the state of internal quiet, where you thoughts are still, you should have already faced and dealt with all of the issues from the day. That leaves you free to deal with older issues.
The emotional healing follows the same process, too… if you repeat the steps above, you will find that you can release a lot of old pain, leaving you feeling lighter mentally and emotionally. That means that you have more resources to turn on healing the next old wound.