A Miracle A Day

Archive for the ‘Subconscious’ Category

Which One Runs Your Life – Love Or Fear?

Polarity

Steve Pavlina recently wrote an article on Achieving Peak Motivation through use of polarity.

In it, he writes:

                    Love polarization means you adopt the mindset of unconditional love                    for everything that exists.  You center your life around serving the                    highest good of all.  This commitment stems naturally from the decision                    to align yourself with the polarity of unconditional love.  Think of                    this as an outward flow of energy.  Your focus is on giving and on                    making a contribution.
                    Fear polarization means you become unconditionally self-centered,                    driven by greed, power, and lust.  Your commitment is to make your life                    the best it can possibly be, purely for your own self-gratification.                     Think of this as an inward flow of energy.  Your focus is on acquiring                    and absorbing all that life has to offer you.

While I don't disagree with his two types of motivation, I disagree with his labels.  I think that what he is really describing is a positive (what he calls love) and negative (what he calls fear) aspect of the love polarity.  I think the real love and fear polarities go deeper than that, that they have a more fundamental difference than whether you love yourself most or all people equally.

When you orient yourself toward the love polarity, you look at things from the perspective of wanting to bring certain things INTO your life, whether it be love, money, or something else.  You are seeking an inflow of energy, of life, bringing things into yourself.  Your focus is on bringing the good things to you.

When you orient yourself toward the fear polarity, on the other hand, you are looking at things from the perspective of wanting to keep something OUT of your life.  This can be loneliness, or poverty, or any number of other things.  You are expending your energy outward, pushing things away (though you may be doing it by trying to bring certain other things into your life, your focus is on keeping the bad things away).

As Steve says when talking about polarities, love and fear can both be incredibly powerful motivators.  If you understand them, and use the power of conscious choice to make one a cornerstone of who you are, it can provide sustained high motivation in a way that little or nothing else can.  Choosing the one that conflicts with your natural tendencies (read subconsciously learned tendencies) is one of the most difficult decisions to make stick, but it can still be done, you just have to keep at it.

If you choose the love polarity, you can then choose within that polarity from the two aspects Steve presents.  If you choose the fear polarity, though I'm not certain that anyone would ever make that choice consciously, then there are probably similar positive and negative aspects, though I have chosen love, so I can't be certain.  Either way, make the choice consciously… don't leave it up to your subconscious, or you may not like the results.


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August 14th

Awareness, Fear, Free Will, Polarity, Subconscious

You Are Who You Choose To Be

Signposts - Choices

You are who you choose to be.  That can be a difficult pill to swallow.  It means that you are responsible for yourself and everything that you do.  All the good parts about you, and all the bad, are of your own choosing, though you may not be specifically aware of the choice (or choices) that led to specific traits.

It is also difficult because it is difficult to accept the power that gives you.  If you have the power to control who you are, then anything you can no longer blame anyone else, including your parents, for whatever traits you don't like about yourself.  If you can control how you react to any given situation, then any time in the past that you have responded poorly, it was 100% your fault.  That's a very unpleasant concept, and makes it difficult to accept the power of conscious choice.  If you don't accept it, then you can continue to deny the blame… though that doesn't mean it belongs any less to you, you can at least deny it, even to yourself.

You're making the choice of who you want to be already, whether you know it or not.  Your conscious mind makes the choices, but it can lie to itself, though not to your subconscious.  You can tell yourself that you want to be this way or that way, but not really mean it, down at the level where thoughts turn into concrete decisions and actions.  You may say you want to be generous, for example, but below that, you may have a fear of scarcity that keeps you from acting out what you say you want.

When you accept the conscious power of choice, you take the power from these lower layers, where such fears dwell, and bring it up into your awareness.  Now you can take those things that you say you want to be and consciously examine them to determine if that really is who you want to be, rather than something you think you should be because others tell you so.  If it's truly who you want to be, then you can take it from just words, and turn it into a decision, and embed that decision in the bedrock of who you are.

How long it takes to do that depends on how truly you have let go of the concept of powerlessness.  When you have truly let it go, and completely understand and accept that you are who you choose to be, change, even drastic change, can be nearly instant (referring to a change in who you are, not what you are… changes to your physical body will still take time, though quite possibly considerably less, since you will not be conflicted and fighting yourself).  If you are just beginning, it may take several times making the decision to add or remove a trait to really embed it deeply.

Once you accept this power, it also leads you to the knowledge and acceptance that all of your emotions come from inside you, too.  You choose which emotions to feel, and how strongly, though often your choice may not be "I'm going to be extraordinarily happy right now", but something more like "Those circumstances will no longer bring anger or pain".  That's not to say that you can't make decisions about how to feel and make them instant, but it takes more work, more energy, and therefore is not as common.

After you've accepted the power of conscious choice, and experienced it for a while, you are almost certain to be more at peace.  In fact, it's hard to NOT have that as your default state.  After all, if who you are, what you do, how you feel and react, if everything about you is your choice, what is there to be conflicted about?  You may lose your peace from time to time, when you slip and give up your conscious choice, letting your subconscious back into control, but as soon as you return to conscious awareness of choice, your peace will return.

Incidentally, when you have this state of conscious awareness of choice as your normal state, other people will notice.  People may turn to you for leadership, since they can see that you have it together.  They may come to you with questions and problems, some of which you may wonder why they thought you could help.  They are likely to give you trust, often trust far beyond what they should give someone they know to the extent they know you… you may find strangers telling you things they would be better off keeping to themselves.  Most of all, they will see you as someone they should emulate, which can bring positive or negative responses.

Acceptance of that awareness, the power of conscious choice, is good for you and good for others.  It can bring peace and harmony to you, as well as improving your ability to make choose the path that is best for you in any number of circumstances (the best for you in the sense that it fits who you are the best, not in the sense that it brings the most gain to you in the eyes of the outside world).   It shows other people that "people" can learn to respond to situations in the way they choose, rather than just letting their subconscious respond.  It shows them that ongoing, lasting peace is attainable by someone they know, not just some Tibetan monk chanting in a Buddhist temple.  It might even lead them to the knowledge that they, too, are who they choose to be.

Update:  On a personal note, I went through this process of realization and becoming aware the first time around ten years ago.  At the time, I had been suffering from severe clinical depression for years, though I had never been treated for it.  My depression caused me to sleep very little, until I was down to about 45 minutes per night, which causes all sorts of interesting experiences after a few days (or weeks).  It got to the point where I was hospitalized, and for the first time given medication to help (I think the medicine they gave me to let me sleep helped nearly as much as the anti-depressants).  I was given a month's worth of Prozac, and that really helped… it pushed back the funk far enough that I could actually think clearly.  It was at this point that I began (I still have slips) to acknowledge control of my own thoughts, feelings, and actions.  Since then, I have had one major backslide into depression (which was around seven years ago), where I needed medicine to help.  Again, I only needed one month's worth of aid from the pills, and I got my mind straightened back out.  Since then I have had a few slips, including one just the other day, but now they only last hours.  I have taken ownership enough that it has changed my subconscious mind's natural reaction to bad things, where instead of dwelling on them, I consider them and let them go.  I can't even begin to accurately describe how much of a difference that makes… it's an absolutely amazing change. 


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How To Get Rid Of Bad Dreams In One Simple Step

Sleeping Baby

Do you have bad dreams, whether nightmares of being chased or just those really intense, weird dreams that leave you more drained than before you went to sleep?  There's a really simple process that, when done regularly, will very nearly eradicate such dreams, leaving you sleeping like a baby.

As you probably already know, dreams are generally related in some way to events that happened or things you thought about during the day.  While your mind is at rest, your subconscious starts bringing up all these little things from the day that didn't quite get taken care of, and the conscious mind, since you are sleeping, tries to piece all these small, mostly unrelated, things together into something coherent.  Since most of the stuff is not particularly related, trying to force it into something coherent can leave you with those really weird dreams.

Nightmares generally come about when one of those things that you didn't finish during the day is particularly intense and you perceive it in a negative manner.  That could be something like financial worries, or feelings of being stuck, or fear of being rejected.  Pretty much any thoughts that are emotionally charged in a negative way can cause bad dreams.

The intensity of your dreams is generally determined by the intensity of the emotions that you associated with the things that you didn't resolve during the day.  If a really negatively charged event happens, or if you are feeling very strongly negative about something, you can have some very intense nightmares.  Losing your job, or fearing that you are likely to do so, can result in some nasty dreams.  So can having a relationship end, or the belief that it will.  Anything that is that strongly charged with negative emotions can leave you in bad shape when it comes to dreaming.

So, now that you know where bad dreams come from, what can you do about it?  Well, it's actually very simple, although not always easy, to do.   And it only takes about fifteen minutes.

The process is simple.  Start off by finding a comfortable and quiet spot where you can be by yourself about fifteen minutes (the time it takes can vary depending on you and how intense your day was) before you go to bed.  Make sure that the lights aren't too bright, although you don't really want it dark either… light about equivalent to a 40 watt bulb works well for most people.  When finding this spot, try to avoid it being your bed, and in fact, try to find some place you can sit, rather than lay down.

Once you have your spot, let your mind start to drift.  Do NOT try to control what you think about… don't actively TRY to think about the events from the day, just let any thoughts that come up float about until they leave on their own.  The same goes for emotions that come up… let them come up, float around, and drift off on their own.  What you are doing is allowing your subconscious to bring up all the things it needs to bring up, but while you are awake, instead of asleep.  This allows you to deal with them in a way that actually makes sense, instead of trying to piece them together into some sort of story line.

Let this continue until the flow of thoughts, feelings, and images slows down, hopefully even coming to a stop, where you reach internal quiet.  If you reach this point, you will find that you have more peace throughout your life, not just more peaceful sleep.  Even if you don't quite reach the point of quiet, though, you'll still have dealt with much of the stuff that would generally cause your bad dreams.  You DO need to keep at it until your thoughts slow, though, because the surface, shallow stuff will come out first, and what you need to get rid of is the deeper stuff that only comes up once all the little stuff is dealt with.

This process will generally take about fifteen minutes, but the time can vary.  If you do it regularly, especially if you do it more than just before bed, the time necessary can drop considerably.  On the other hand, if you had a really eventful and stressful day, it may take longer, as you have more things to deal with.  Just keep at it until your thoughts slow or stop.

One last thing… this has to be some place that you feel safe and unlikely to be interrupted.  Interruptions can cause you to have to start all over again, even if it's from someone you love, like your wife or child, as they interrupt the flow of thoughts.  You also likely won't relax enough if you expect to be interrupted, even if it doesn't actually happen.  Same goes for feeling safe… if you don't feel safe, you won't relax enough to let the stuff start flowing.

If you do this every day, you will essentially never have nightmares again.  You'll also find that you get better sleep, and likely even need less of it.  You'll feel better rested and more focused.  With all of that waiting for you, and only costing fifteen minutes of your time, what are you waiting for?


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August 9th

Healing, Internal Quiet, Subconscious

The Law Of Attraction De-Mystified

The Secret

The Law Of Attraction, or LOA, essentially says that whatever your dominant thoughts are about, more of that thing will manifest in your life.  One of the common examples is having an "abundance mindset", or to use a better known phrase, seeing the world as your oyster, waiting for you to pluck out the pearl.  What's interesting about the LOA is that it actually works.

So why do some people use mysterious, unexplainable terms to describe a process that has a simple, common sense explanation?  Because it sells.  If you explain something, even something new and useful, to a person in terms so simple that they feel like it's common sense, they won't tell anyone else about it.  Why not?  Because they don't want the other person to think, or worse yet say, "Duh, everybody knows that."

On the other hand, if you DO use mysterious, unexplainable terms, they will tell all KINDS of people, because they think it makes them sound like they know something special, that they are knowledgeable in an area where most people are not.  This make them feel special and smart, which is a good thing to make someone feel if you want to sell them something (ask anyone who knows anything at all about marketing).

How does this apply to this article?  Well, there are sources out there, like The Secret, whose logo appears above, that explain the LOA in the way mentioned above.  They use terms like "universal intelligence" (meaning a single awareness that encompasses all of existence) or "secret teachers", intending to instill exactly the feelings I mentioned.

There is an easier, non-mystical explanation of the LOA.  If you think about something more, you become more aware of it, or things that affect it, around you.  Have you ever noticed that right after you or someone close to you buys a new car, you start seeing a lot more of those cars around you?   Or, more applicable to the topic, have you noticed that when something is on your mind, like you think maybe your significant other is cheating, that you notice all sorts of things related to that thought?

When we think about something, we are telling our subconscious that it is important, and should be brought to our attention.  The more we think about it, the more we are reinforcing this message, giving whatever it is more and more priority in terms of having it and things related to it brought to our conscious awareness from the jumble of constant input from reality.  It becomes more and more likely to get past the filters that the subconscious has in place to keep our conscious awareness from being flooded and overwhelmed.

Since more things about the thought or related to the thought are coming to our attention, we perceive things in a way that is colored by that thought that keeps coming up.  This means that if you have been thinking, as in the example above, that your wife is cheating, when you smell a new perfume on her, you may perceive it as being an attempt to impress "the other man".  If you hadn't been thinking that, you might instead think "Oh, she smells good.  I'll have to ask her to wear this one more often."  That's a pretty huge difference.

So what happens when you start perceiving things through the lens of whatever thought has been dominant lately?  It changes which actions seem to make the most sense, which ones are better suited to achieving your goals, be they conscious or subconscious.  Again from the example above, the choices which bring you toward the subconscious goal of "don't get hurt", which nearly everyone has,  are very different when you don't trust your spouse.  This obviously affects which choices you make, thus affecting your actions, and bringing about the manifestation of your most dominant thoughts, as the LOA says will happen.

So, to summarize, when you think about something more often, you are telling your subconscious to alert you to things related to it.  As it does so, this affects your perception of the situations around you.  This changing perception, in turn, causes certain choices to look more appealing, making you more likely to make those choices and take the actions associated with them.  Taking these actions then brings about the manifestation of your originating thought. 

What this boils down to is that the LOA is real, actually works, and you can make use of that in the way that the people who use mystical terms teach.  It WILL work, because it's still the same process, just as pushing the power button will turn on your TV, whether you think that's because it flips an electrical switch or because it prods a little hamster inside to start running on its wheel.  It doesn't really matter what explanation you use, if you follow the same process, you get the same results.

But if you want people to spread the word, use mysterious and unexplainable terms to describe that process.  (D'oh!  I guess that means nobody is going to spread the word for me!


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August 8th

Awareness, Beliefs, Learning, Subconscious

The Truth About Pain (Physical AND Mental)

Emotional Pain

People have all different ideas about pain.  There is a well known phrase, especially among bodybuilders, that says "No pain, no gain".  That concept is not only incorrect, it can be dangerous.  Some people associate pain with growth, as in growing pains, but the truth is that the pain that is associated with growth is usually a result of trying to grow too much too fast.

Pain is a warning that we are doing something that is going to require healing.  The degree of pain is determined by the amount of healing that our subconscious predicts it is going to require.  These predictions are not always accurate… for example, paper cuts hurt far beyond the amount of healing that is going to be necessary.  Pain can range from a mild discomfort for something that just needs a bit of down time to disabling, where you cannot function properly, to incapacitating, where your subconscious actually shuts down your consciousness due to the severity (by the way, although I appreciate this function, saving me from experiencing the most excruciating pain, I find it disturbing that my subconscious can shut down my conscious mind).

When you can refer to it as "pain" rather than pain, a mild discomfort can be merely a sign of strenuous activity.  This is essentially your subconscious saying "Okay, we're doing something, putting out effort, and we're capable of doing it, but we're going to need to rest to restore the energy we're using".  This can be a good thing, depending on the circumstances.  It is a positive sign when working out, for instance, or when you sink a lot of energy into a new project.  You end up, as long as you don't push it too far, with that "good tired" feeling, where you're satisfied that you have accomplished something worthwhile.

When pain goes beyond that mild discomfort to something more severe, however, that is your subconscious telling you that need to stop because you are inflicting damage, not just using up energy.  This is true whether it's physical pain or emotional pain (emotional pain contains pretty much all negative emotions… depression, anger, sadness, etc.).  If you are working out, and you start feeling sharp pain, that means that you need to stop right when you feel it, not push through it, as you're no longer building, but tearing down… you might be hurting your joint, tearing a muscle too much, or something else, but you need to stop.  The same goes for emotional pain.  If you start feeling depressed, for example, it means that you're doing something that is inflicting damage to your self.  You need to stop, clear your mind, take a bit of quiet time for yourself, and figure out what exactly it is that you're doing that's causing the injury, so you can stop doing it and find another way to get to where you were trying to go with the action that is bringing you pain.

If you are severely depressed a lot of the time, then you probably have both old injuries (which can be healed), and currently existing patterns of behavior which are causing it.  The same goes for anger, hatred, fear, or other negative emotions.  They are caused by your own behavior or thought patterns, though they may, and likely do, appear to come from outside.  This is because you can only be mentally affected by outside factors to the extent you allow it.  For instance, if someone always finds ways to bring up your weight, and it makes you depressed, that is because you are allowing that person's words to shape your own self image.  You do not have to do this… your self image is your own to shape as you desire.  If you find yourself feeling negative emotions due to other people, make sure you take a look at how much you are allowing other people to define your own image of who you are… who you are inside, which is again affected by who you are outside only to the extent you allow it to be.

The truth about pain is that it's a wake-up notice from your subconscious.  Sharp pain, or long lasting dull aches, are a warning that you need to stop and evaluate what you are doing to find the problem.  Once you find the problem, you can go to work on correcting it.   Mental pain, which is what I know best how to heal, is almost always a factor of letting something other than you conscious mind determine who you perceive yourself to be.  This is most often either mistaking what you do for who you are or allowing what you think other people think about you (which is at best an educated guess, as even what they say they think may not be what they really think) to determine who you think you are.  If you can take the time to change those two behaviors, most negative emotions (or mental pain) will dry up and go away.

PS – This article was inspired by comments on this post from Jenny and Erin.


Author

August 6th

Awareness, Subconscious

Learn To See Your Own Rose-Colored Glasses Part 4

False Perception

Perception is what we are presented with once our internal filters are applied to reality.  If you've been with me so far, you have learned how filters are formed, and how to become aware of the filters you already have.  Now we've reached the most crucial part:  learning to create, replace, and discard your filters.

If you've put into practice some of the techniques from the previous article in the series, you now are aware of what at least some of your internal filters are.  Once you are aware of a filter, you can, at your choice, either replace or discard it.  You can also create new filters, but let's save that until the end, as dealing with filters that you already have is usually more urgent.

If you don't like a filter you already have, you can either replace it with another, or discard it entirely.  The first step to either result is to become aware not just of the filter's existence (obviously you've already done this or you wouldn't know that there is something you want to change), but to become aware of it's implementation.  That means becoming aware of every time it gets called, every time something passes through it.  The best technique I've found for this so far is some sort of reminder.  This could be putting a coin in a jar, tying a knot in a string, or one I've read about recently, switching a bracelet from one wrist to the other.  Each time you do one of these things, it's teaching your subconscious to alert your conscious mind when whatever you're trying to become aware of happens, in this case the usage of the filter you've chosen.

Now that you're aware of each usage, you can either consciously apply a different filter that you would like to replace your current one, or you can work on trying to perceive whatever it is without the filter at all.  For example, if you want to remove a filter of being scared of dogs, each time you see one, and feel that filter kicking in, you can do your reminder task and then make yourself stop and see that the dog is not a threat, perhaps even going so far as asking the owner if you can pet it, depending on how great your fear is and how far in the removal process you are.  If you want to replace a filter, say to go from seeing the world through a scarcity filter to seeing it through an abundance filter, you can do your reminder task, and then make a conscious effort to perceive the same situation through the new filter you want.  In the example of scarcity vs abundance, for instance, if you notice yourself looking at something as something that you can't have, make a conscious effort to change and see it as something that will take more effort to have, and evaluate it in the context of effort versus reward instead of simply seeing it as something you can't have.

Creating a new filter is very similar to replacing an old one (in fact, replacing one involves creating the replacement filter).  Basically, you need to become aware of situations where the filter you would like to acquire would apply, and then make a conscious effort to see that situation through the new filter.  There is another way to acquire new filters, though, that is easier in some ways, and more difficult in others.  The simplest way to acquire a new filter is to be around someone, or even better multiple people, who already have that filter.  This is even more effective, as I mentioned in part 2 of this series, if you consider that other person (or those other people) to be an authority in the part of life to which the filter applies.

Creating, discarding, and replacing filters is generally not an instant process, and the time it requires is directly related to how deep the filter is set (for discarding and replacing) or how deep you want the filter set (for creating).  Very shallow filters may take very little time or effort, while very deep filters may take weeks, months, years, or even decades.  On the positive side, while deep filters may take a long time to complete the process (whichever it is, creating, discarding, or replacing), there is generally noticeable progress along the way, so that you don't get too discouraged and give up.

Well, that covers the basics of internal filters and biases.  You now know enough to consciously change how you see the world, and through that, who you are.  If you put into practice what you've learned, you will find it becomes easier as you go.  You will also probably have insights that help to make it even easier.  This process of becoming who you choose to be is what I'm talking about with the slogan at the top – Intelligent Self Development. 

Articles In This Series:  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4


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August 2nd

Awareness, Beliefs, Patterns, Subconscious

Learn To See Your Own Rose-Colored Glasses Part 3

False Perception

Perception… reality passed through internal filters, formed by one of three methods, and on into your conscious awareness.  Your perception of reality is all that really counts, when it comes to making choices.  There is no way to distinguish your current perception of reality from reality itself, but you CAN change your filters and then re-evaluate reality, possibly changing your perceptions.

Now you know that you have all these internal filters affecting every part of your life, because they affect how you see every part of your life.  And you even know how they are formed and how they can be either strengthened or weakened.  But how do you become aware of what filters you currently have in place?

The first, and easiest, method of becoming aware of your filters is to look at a situation from another perspective.  That is, imagine how someone else would see it.  If it's different than how you see it, you can look at the differences and begin to see your filters.  For instance, let's say you are looking for a house and you come across one that's in relatively good shape, but it's a bit run down.  Now you might see this as a sign that the previous owner didn't take care of it, and you'll want to look for another house.  But another person might look at it and see an opportunity to fix it and get the satisfaction of doing something worthwhile, as well as imprinting their own tastes.  The differences, such as one seeing it as a negative while the other sees it as a positive, shows you a little of the filters you're applying to that situation.

If you want to use this method to find your filters, then it is best to try to find as many different circumstances where you can apply the technique as possible.  Even situations that don't appear related can often be passing through the same filter.  Buying a car and buying a house, for example, both generally pass through a "value for the money" filter… although if the cost is insignificant enough compared to your income, it may NOT pass through that filter.  Your filters will become clearer (and more optional… a filter you're aware of has less power than one you apply subconsciously) as you try this process in more and more situations.

Another way of becoming more aware of your filters is to simply imagine a situation, and try to picture as many different possible ways to approach the situation as you're capable of doing.  This has the benefit of not being immediately involved in the situation, which removes some of the pressure, and gives you time to work out what your filters are in peace.  It also lets you try to find filters in situations that are not common, like buying a house… for most people, it's not something you do all that often, although some real estate investors do it regularly.

This second way has a disadvantage, though, in that it's more difficult to picture how you would REALLY react in a given situation than it is to determine from actually being in that situation.  This means that you can give yourself a false picture of your filters, although if you are honest with yourself, this shouldn't be too much of an issue, as it normally occurs when you try to deny something about yourself (like "I wouldn't lie" or "I would definitely give money to that cause" or that sort of thing… trying to convince yourself that you are a "better" person… what makes someone a "better" person is an article all to itself).  It's just something to be aware of, not something to particularly concern yourself with… just be honest, it's not like anyone else can see what you are imagining.

The third, and most difficult, way to find your filters is to find a quiet place where you can be alone (which, if you're a parent, can be difficult all by itself!) and choose a topic.  The topic can be as general or as specific as you wish.  When you have your topic selected, close your eyes (to eliminate visual distractions) and just let yourself consider your filters for the chosen area.  If you are really trying, at least a few of the filters closest to the surface should come to your attention.  After all, those filters belong to the subconscious, and the subconscious does the conscious mind's bidding when given direct, clear orders.

If you repeat this third technique over time, on the same topic, you are likely to find deeper and deeper filters coming up, some of which are likely deep enough that you had no idea they were there.  As in the previous techniques, there is some bleed from topic to topic, too.  You may have a "fear of failure" filter which very nearly everything processes through, or you may have a "fear of being alone" filter that situations dealing with those you are close to hurting you pass through.  Some filters, on the other hand, may be as specific as "mail that comes from Delaware has to do with banking/credit cards"… that one's from personal experience.

Regardless of how specific or general a filter is, one thing holds true:  A filter loses much of its power when you become aware of its presence.  That means that you will be much more free, much more able to see more of the possibilities in a situation as you become aware of more of your filters.  You will also find the ability to create, change, or discard filters grows with your general awareness of their existence, and obviously you cannot choose to change or discard a specific filter if you are not aware of it.

So, that's it for this article… a little more detail on creating, changing, and discarding filters in the next.

Articles In This Series:  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4


Author

August 1st

Awareness, Beliefs, Patterns, Subconscious

Learn To See Your Own Rose-Colored Glasses Part 2

False Perceptions

Perception is how you understand reality after it has passed through all your internal filters.  You can change those filters, but first you must become aware of what they are, how they are formed and strengthened, and what role those around you play in this process.

So you want to change the filters through which life around you passes before coming into your conscious mind?  Be warned, the process is not instant, nor is it necessarily easy or without pain.  Some of the filters you have will be buried so deep that it can take years to change them significantly, let alone actually remove them, if that's what you want.  Even the shallow ones often take weeks to change or remove.  Be prepared, then, for this to take quite some time… but if you stick with it, it can change your life completely.

If you're still with me, then you're interested in positive change, in spite of the effort, and possibly pain, involved.  The first step in your process is to understand how filters are formed.  There are three major sources of filters:  people you associate with (they don't have to be friends, just people you are around frequently), your own experiences, and "third-party" information (things you read or see).  Each of these sources imparts filters of varying strengths and complexity, depending on factors within the category.

When you pick up filters from people you associate with, the strength and depth of the filter is strongly affected by the amount of time you spend with that person, and more lightly by how you feel about that person.  There is also a factor involving how much of an authority you consider the person, especially in regards to the specific area of the filter.  So a co-worker you don't like but spend hours with each day can affect you more deeply than an old friend that you see once a year, but a friend you see a few times a week may have more influence than a coworker you see five days a week, while someone that you see rarely, but consider an authority on the area of life in question can have a profound effect on your filters.  Parents and spouses tend to be the strongest influences of this type, with parents having an advantage due to the fact that there are no competing/conflicting filters when you spend so much time with them, and the fact that when you are young, you consider them to be an authority on almost everything.

You also build up filters from your own experiences as you live life.  If you have been bitten by dogs a few times, you will form a filter that looks for that type of behavior from at least the type of dog that bit you, if not dogs in general.  With this type of filter formation, the amount the event catches your attention, whether via mental involvement, emotions, or pain/pleasure, is the primary factor in how strong and deep the filter is, with repetition of the event (or of similar events) strengthening and deepening the filter, and conflicting events weakening it.  The strengthening effect of similar events is considerably stronger than the weakening effect of conflicting events, unless the conflicting event is of considerable significance.

Filters formed from third-party sources tend to be the weakest of the three types.  They generally have less "authority" than people you know, and certainly less than your own experience.  However, in areas that you don't have any personal experience or particular input from someone you know, such as when you're learning about a new hobby that you don't know anyone who shares, your filters will generally be formed from what you read about it.  Third-party sources can also extend and expand already existing filters, especially if they generally agree with your existing filters, just adding a bit more detail.

Once a filter is formed from one of these sources, it can also be strengthened by any of the above sources (it doesn't have to be the same one).  For instance, your parents may tell you to be wary of strangers, causing you to form a filter that causes you to be cautious when meeting someone new.  This can then be strengthened by personal experience, if a stranger does something to you that you don't like, or particularly if you have several bad experiences with strangers.  The filter can then be further strengthened by reading/listening/viewing the news and learning about random murders and kidnappings.

A filter can also be weakened by any of these sources, but it is much harder to weaken a filter than to strengthen it.  It is easier to accept reinforcement of your already held filters, opinions, and beliefs than it is to accept contradictory information.  This is true of all people, though noticeably stronger in some than in others, often referred to as being closed-minded or open-minded.

So now, in order to keep this post from getting ridiculously long, I will push how to become aware of your specific filters and how to change them to another post.

Articles In This Series:  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4


Author

July 31st

Awareness, Beliefs, Patterns, Subconscious

Learn To See Your Own Rose-Colored Glasses

False Perceptions

Perception is your interpretation of reality, based on where you are standing in space and time, and processed through all of your filters and biases*.  Unfortunately, or actually perhaps fortunately, there is no way to avoid this, and there is no way to base your choices on reality.

You cannot, as a human being, consciously comprehend reality.  Instead, your  consciousness is presented with an interpretation of reality, filtered by your subconsciousness from the input received by all your senses.  This interpretation is what you must use to make your choices.  If you were standing directly in front of the building pictured above, you would be forced (assuming no prior knowledge) to make any choices based on it being three stories tall.  If you were to move to the side, however, your perception changes, and with it the basis for your decisions.

There is no way to avoid this.  You can only work with what your senses feed your subconscious, and out of that, only what it passes on to your conscious mind.  This is probably fortunate, as the sheer vastness of the amount of information contained by reality would likely overwhelm your conscious mind in seconds.  Unfortunately, however, it does mean that your choices may be based on a falsehood, as any bias you have is automatically inserted before you ever have a chance to consider anything else.

This doesn't mean that your subconscious mind rejects anything that doesn't match your bias, or that you can't perceive contrary information.  It simply means things are "colored" by your biases, beliefs, and other such filters.  That is, if you are "biased" against spiders, when you see one in the corner, you may see something dark and scary, and may even perceive it to be larger than it actually is.  On the other hand, if you have no such bias, you may see a harmless critter (or, with other biases, see a life worth carefully preserving, something to add to your bug collection, or something else entirely). 

Other things that you might not think of fall into this category of biases and filters, as well.  You can have a bias for or against financial opportunities… meaning that you either filter them out, or give them special attention.  Your taste in music, art, and humor are all biases as well.  All communication passes through your filters, which may be different between "groups" of people (like lawyers, doctors, politicians, preachers, or even as general as men vs women) as well as between individuals. 

For example, consider the phrase "I love you."  The source of the phrase makes a huge amount of difference in how you interpret it, as it passes through your filters for that individual and whatever classes you associate them with.  If your wife says it, it passes through filters associated with her, meaning you perceive it differently than if, say, a stranger said it to you.  With your wife, it might make you feel a little closer (or want to be closer, which is not the same), it might make you feel the love you have for her, or if you're having marital problems, it might make you think of those problems.  With a stranger, it's likely to creep you out, make you want to push them away (emotionally/mentally at the very least… depending on how close they are, it might make you want to do it physically, too), and bring all kinds of other negative things to mind, as well, although this depends greatly on the groups you associate that stranger with.  Think about the difference in how you would react if a beautiful woman said that to you, compared to an ugly woman, an effeminate appearing man, or a biker in full tattoos and leather.

Fortunately, your conscious mind IS capable of reviewing its filters and biases, and so you can change the way you perceive information from the world around you.  It's not always easy to do so, but you can do it.   You can choose to change, remove, or add filters, but first you have to learn to become aware of them first.  My next article will deal with how to do this, how to become aware, and from there how to choose which filters you want.

*  These filters and biases mentioned in the article are what I call patterns elsewhere on the site.  The speed and accuracy with which these filters are applied is what most people call intelligence.

Articles In This Series:  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4


Author

July 30th

Awareness, Beliefs, Patterns, Subconscious

Being Distracted Is Your Own Fault

Woman In The Window

Are you distracted all the time?  Do you have trouble focusing on what you're doing? Well, it's your own fault, but there is something you can do about it.

First of all, let's get what distractions are out of the way.  Distractions are when something comes to your attention that draws your focus away from whatever it was that you were doing.   This breaks your concentration, and can throw off your rhythm, making it harder to get back to what you were doing before you were distracted.

That being said, there are, at any given time, hundreds or thousands of things going on around you that could get your attention.  The vast majority of these things pass by beneath our conscious awareness, but some pop up into that realm.  This is because your subconscious determines that whatever it is needs your attention urgently enough to take your conscious attention away from what it is you are doing.

Your subconscious takes its cues as to what is important enough to distract you with from your conscious mind.  If you give a lot of importance to what you are doing, if you love it and are passionate about it, then it takes quite an occurrence to distract you.  If, on the other hand, you are doing something that you feel you HAVE to do, not something that you want to do, your subconscious listens to this guidance as well, and the threshold for something to come to your attention will be much lower.  The barrier to something coming to your conscious attention is lowest when you're doing something you don't want to do AND have something important to think about, and especially if that thing that is important to think about is one you don't want to think about.

So your subconscious mind does what your conscious mind tells it to do, even if you barely realize you're doing it.  If you tell it that you don't want to be where you are, doing what you're doing, then it will try to present you with other things going on around you.  If you tell it that you are totally engrossed in what you are doing, it will filter out all but the most important events.   If you try to avoid thinking about something that you know you need to think about, it will pass you just about everything, not doing much filtering at all.

There's the problem and its cause, so now what can you do about it?  Well, the first thing you can do is make sure you take quiet time.  This gives you the opportunity to stop avoiding all those thoughts that you're trying not to think about, thus lessening your seeking for distractions.  The second thing you can do is learn to prioritize, and work on things in priority order… this will cause you to be working on something important to you up until you get all of that accomplished, at which point distractions are not so bad, anyway, as they may provide you with an opportunity that you otherwise would have missed.  The final thing you can do is work on increasing your awareness, as the more aware you are, the more your conscious mind is in direct control, rather than sitting back waiting for the subconscious to filter everything for it.

So now you are aware of what you are doing, and know how to change it, so what are you waiting for?  Don't let anything distract you on your path to growth and awareness!