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Internal Quiet – Where Emotional Healing Starts

Internal Quiet - Where Emotional Healing Starts As we go through life, we pick up mental and emotional wounds. Some of them are big, and some are small, but everyone has received some at one point or another.

The nasty thing about emotional and mental wounds (consolidated to just emotional for this article) is that we have a natural tendency to keep them from healing completely. This leaves a constant drain on our mental and emotional resources.

It's somewhat like an improperly healed broken bone. The bone is no longer broken, and it appears to be fine from the surface, but there is still discomfort and possibly pain.

They share something else, too… in order to heal them completely, you have to first experience the hurt all over again. To heal a bone properly that set wrong, you first have to break it. In order to heal emotional wounds, you first have to rip off the scar.

Where do you start the process of healing?

You start with internal quiet. Internal quiet is the state where you mind has become quiet, where all the distractions and thoughts from the day have had their chance.

When you reach this stage, your mind is free from the daily distractions that keep you from really getting anything accomplished. That leaves you mentally "available" to deal with things from times other than today… like old emotional wounds.

So I've told you what interal quiet is, and one of its benefits (it has a lot of other benefits), so you may be wondering how you actually go about achieving it. Here it is, the 6 step guide to achieving internal quiet:

Find A Place To Be Alone

The first thing you need to find internal quiet is a place where you can be alone, without interruptions. Alone, in this case, doesn't just mean physically… it also means turn off your cell phone and any other way that someone can interrupt you. The last thing you need when trying to deal with the day's distractions is more distraction.

Being interrupted can be bad enough that you have to start all over again… so try to find a place, and time, where it won't happen.
Close Your Eyes

Your mind automatically gives priority to what your eyes tell it, so closing your eyes robs it of this input, allowing you to focus on what has already been input. You may be able to achieve internal quiet without closing your eyes… but you're just making it harder to do so by providing more distractions and input with which you then have to deal.
Concentrate On Your Breathing

Breathe in deeply, and breathe out completely… and while you're doing so, concentrate on the feel of the breath coming into your lungs and sliding out of your mouth. As you continue with your breathing exercise, try to slow your breathing down as well as keeping it deep.

This step deals with the physical tension that interferes with mental and emotions processes, causing tension there, as well.
Let Whatever Comes Up… Come Up

Now your body is relaxed (or relaxing), and things are going to come into your mind. It might be pictures, thoughts, or memories… it doesn't matter what it is, just let it come. Trying to suppress or drive out these things that come up is counterproductive. It causes mental and emotional tension just when you're trying to get rid of it.
Accept It

Instead of trying to push away the images and thoughts, just let them be. Look at them, acknowledge them for what they are, and accept them… they are your thoughts, coming from below the surface of your conscious mind, and denying them is ignoring what that deeper level is trying to communicate to you.
Let It Go

The final step is to let it go. Let each thought, image, and feeling that comes into your mind be accepted as yours, and then let it go. Almost all emotional and mental pain, other than at the instant the event occurs, is a result of not letting it go… holding it inside and, in the worst cases, dwelling on it.

Each thing you let go is one less thing weighing you down, which frees up those resources for dealing with the next thing, and letting it go, too.

You'll likely need to go through several cycles of 4-6 when you first start reaching for internal quiet, and again when something major happens. Don't try to push yourself or rush the process… it won't work. This is one thing that absolutely has to go at its own pace.

When you've completed the list above (however many times that takes), you should be in a calmer place. How long it takes varies quite a bit… mostly with how much stuff you have built up over the years, how many and how thick your walls are. If you keep up the practice of finding internal quiet, you will find you have less mental stuff pending, and it gets easier and quicker each time.

When you reach the state of internal quiet, where you thoughts are still, you should have already faced and dealt with all of the issues from the day. That leaves you free to deal with older issues.

The emotional healing follows the same process, too… if you repeat the steps above, you will find that you can release a lot of old pain, leaving you feeling lighter mentally and emotionally. That means that you have more resources to turn on healing the next old wound.

Author

November 19th

Healing, Internal Quiet

A Life In Flux

Have you ever had one of those times when it seemed like your entire life was in flux, where almost nothing seemed to be stable, something to hold onto while everything else shifts? It's relatively common to have had that experience, although not everyone is required to go through it.

So… why do I bring this up? Well, you might say it has a little personal relevance for me right now. My employer is currently trying to sell the piece of their business where I work, other people around me seem to be finding greener pastures (in the employment sense), and things have been a bit chaotic on the home front, as we just had a huge yard sale. This is in addition to writing for this website, and having recently set an ambitious goal of 500 subscribers by November 20th.

My normal rock among all the shifting sands, my wife, has been busy with getting ready for the yard sale (and cleaning up afterwards). While I helped, and did most of the heavy lifting, she invested far more time than I, and so hasn't been as available for me as she normally is.

How does this all tie back to self-development? Quite well, actually… because it has reinforced for me the need to find a center, a place of peace in the middle of your soul. This is a place that is isolated from the outside world and all of its influences and distractions, a place where you can go when the rest of the world is too much to handle.

How do you go about finding your center? Well, it's a combination of things, including learning how to achieve internal quiet, who you really are, and acceptance of your own freedom and the responsibility that comes with it. So, here's a short summary of each of these factors:

Achieving Internal Quiet

This is the starting point for finding your center, as it provides a place from which to pursue the other two pieces. First, a definition – internal quiet is the point at which the surface of your mind is calm, with all interrupting thoughts and distractions dealt with. Now, a very quick guide on how to achieve it (I've mentioned this in a few previous articles): Find a spot where you can sit and have aa few minutes of time to yourself. Make yourself comfortable, and close your eyes. Let any thought that comes up come, drift across your mind, and go back out. Let any feelings that come up come without attempt at suppression, observe them, and let them go, too.

Before too long, though the time it takes varies depending on what the circumstances of your life are at the moment, you should reach a place of internal quiet. Now you're ready for the next step.
Finding Who You Are

Finding who you are… this is sort of mislabeling. It may feel like finding who you are, but in reality what you are doing is peeling back the layers you have pasted over the real you, and admitting who you really are inside. It's not so much finding as admitting, although you may have buried some things deep enough that you find yourself surprised that they are still there.

This is the point where you start taking down some of your internal walls and dealing with things that are not pleasant. This is by far more easily done when you have reached internal quiet, and know how to do so again, as internal quiet allows you to release the pain that some of your digging and demolition of walls allows back up into your conscious awareness.
Accepting Your Freedom (And Responsibility)

When you are well into the process above, you are likely to start recognizing the fact that anything you don't like about yourself is your own fault, that it's both caused and continued by your own choices. If you have a lot of anger inside, it's because you are holding on to some old injury. If you have trouble trusting others, it is no doubt because of something else (or the same thing, I suppose) you are holding inside with your walls. There are two reactions to this realization that you are who you choose to be… you can deny it and turn away, pretending you are someone you are not, and that others are to blame for who you are, or you can embrace it and realize that since these things you don't like are a result of your choices, that also means you are free to make different choices and change who you are.

Either way, once you recognize responsibility for who you are, you can never totally bury that knowledge and understanding again.

Once you have done the things listed above, you should be able to tell a significant difference in your level of internal peace and your ability to deal with external stress. You'll have a place inside you that can function as your anchor in a life in flux, something to hold you steady against whatever waves may come.

And it's a spot, that center of your soul, that no one else can ever take away from you.

Author

October 8th

Feed Your Mind, Internal Quiet, Perseverance

Courage Without Limit – The End Of Doubt And Fear

Many people live their entire lives drowning in doubt and fear. Almost everything they do is motivated by trying to avoid something bad, not pursuing something good. This leads them to look at everything through a negative lens, which in turn causes them to live lives far below their potential, both potential for success (by whatever their definition) and for happiness.

This is not something that anyone has to accept, though changing can be very difficult. It is relatively simple, but simple is not the same as easy. Still, isn't it worth the effort, when the reward is courage without limit, in whatever circumstances you find yourself?

Where do doubt and fear come from?

Doubt and fear both originate from the same thing… worrying about which choice will turn out with the best (or worst) outcome. Fear is the worry that comes before the choice, and sometimes between the choice and the outcome. Doubt is another side of the same coin, the worry that comes after having made the decision… worrying about whether or not it was the best choice.

Doubt and fear are experienced differently, and have different ways of keeping you from reaching your potential.

Fear

Fear works by keeping you from making choices that might have the possibility of you getting hurt. It can cause you to run away, to hide, or to turn a blind eye to opportunity. It can also cause you to lash out, trying to hide your fear, because you are afraid of someone knowing that you are afraid.
Doubt

Doubt, on the other hand, keeps you from putting in the follow through necessary to actually get the results you started out looking for. It causes you to pull back, to not really give things the energy and attention that they need. Doubt seldom causes you to lash out at others… it's far more likely to make you hurt yourself.

How do you find "The End Of Doubt And Fear"?

Since both originate from worry about the outcome of your choices, the way to end them is to remove the uncertainty from your choice. How do you do that? By always being true to yourself, always going with the choice that best reflects the real you (not the persona that you project for the sake of others).

Any time that you do something for external reasons, reasons other than it being the choice that best reflects who you are and who you want to be, you bring uncertainty into the picture. As the uncertainty grows, doubt and fear creep in… which choice is the right choice? Did you make the best choice?

When you start basing your choices on what reflects who you are and who you want to be, you gain a lot of clarity. Many choices fall away, being obviously not the right decision for you. You also lose a lot of your investment in the outcome of your choices, since the choice itself, reflecting you as it does, is enough justification.

As more and more of your choices reflect your nature, there will be less and less uncertainty. There will only BE one choice, and that choice is the right choice for you, even if it doesn't end up with the best possible outcome. This clarity, this lack of uncertainty, makes it harder and harder for doubt or fear to work its way into your life. You may make a choice that produces an outcome other than what you wanted, but it won't bother you, because it was still the right choice for you.

And the right choice for you isn't determined by outside, objective factors. There is no better or best, worse or worst… it's the right choice for you, there can only be one right choice in any decision. Since there is no other choice, there is no way that the outcome could have been better or worse if you had made a different choice.

What happens when doubt and fear are gone?

That one is simple… you find peace. It doesn't matter if other people think you made the wrong choice, or if another choice might have, had you chosen it instead, given you better results. It doesn't matter because you are making the choices that fit who you are and who you want to be.

And that's enough.

Author

October 5th

Awareness, Feed Your Mind, Internal Quiet

A Simple Way To Easily Keep Your Focus All Day Long

We all have a natural tendency to start losing our focus as the day drags on, especially when we're working on something other than what we really want to be doing. It becomes harder and harder to pay attention to what you're doing… your mind starts to wander and pretty soon you're working at a fraction of your peak efficiency. Sometimes you may even become annoyed at yourself for it, but that doesn't really help, it just makes it even harder to focus.

There is, however, a fairly simple way to keep your focus all day long, and it doesn't even take much time. And, as a bonus, not only will it help you to keep your focus, but it will also help you to train your subconscious in what is important to you, and thus which choices and opportunities to bring to your attention.

And now onto the meat of article, how to keep your focus all day long:

Preparation

The first thing you'll need to do for this to be the most effective is a list of specific things in your life that you want to improve. The easiest way to get such a list is to sit down with pen and paper (or electronic equivalent) and write down whatever comes to mind as something you would like to improve. Anything that is really general, like "I want to be more successful", refine down to one or more specifics, such as "I want my income to increase".

Now take that list and narrow it down to something like 4-6 items that are the most important to you. Take those items you have left and put them into a positive and current sentence. As an example, if you chose from above the specific of "I want my income to increase", you could take that and turn it into "My cash flow is increasing." That's positive, as opposed to something like "I'm not going to smoke", and current, rather than future like "I will make more money".

So… that's the one time preparation, although you can, of course, revisit the list at any time if you find that one of the things on it is no longer of as much importance (or if you simply find something of more importance). There is also daily preparation, done each night just before bed. Each night, just before bed, make a short list of things you need to do the next day. This shouldn't be more than few of the most important things, not a comprehensive list of everything you have on your plate.

Now, onto the next phase…

Execution

First thing in the morning, soon after you wake up, take five minutes of quiet time for yourself. Start this quiet time with deep breathing, concentrating on feeling your breath slide in and out. After you feel your body relax and your mind achieve quiet (which should only be a couple minutes if you do this regularly) repeat to yourself the phrases from your list… "My cash flow is increasing.", etc. Focus on each one for just a moment, then move to the next. After you have finished that list, quickly review your to do list from the night before and decide the order in which you are going to do those things. Now you're ready to go start your day knowing what you need to do and where you want to go… and your focus should be sharp.

You should repeat this process every two or three hours throughout the day. It should only take a few minutes each time, and the time it takes is likely to go down as you get used to doing it. It gives your mind a chance to clear out all the debris that working builds up, refocuses you on what you want to improve in your life, and offers a chance to review what is left on your to do list, letting you see your progress and keeping you from straying off too far with distractions.

Each of those three things is important, but the thing that helps the most is clearing out the mental debris. This builds up constantly during the day and most people only clear it out at night when they go to sleep. If you keep it cleared throughout the day, however, it's not there impeding your ability to focus, and also lets you get to the good sleep faster, since there is little built-up debris to clear first.

And that brings us to the final phase…

Review

First thing in the morning is the most important part of the execution phase, because it sets the tone for the day. There's another very important part of the whole process, though, and that comes at the end of the day, just before bed. This is the time when, after doing your deep breathing and review of the areas where you want to improve, you review your to do list to see which things on the list were accomplished. This can be a good way to feel like you got something productive done that day.

After you review your list for the day, take the time to make a new one for the next day. You can include anything that wasn't completed from the day just past, as well as anything new. Take a moment to picture yourself the next night with your new list accomplished, and then put it away until the next morning.

It's also a good idea to mentally set a time that you intend to wake up in the morning, and use another phrase, something along the lines of "My sleep is restorative and refreshing. I awaken each morning focused and alert." This combination, setting a specific time and essentially telling yourself that you are going to sleep well, can help you to actually sleep well and awaken in the morning feeling refreshed and mentally clear.

Summary

This process generally takes no more than 30-40 minutes of your day, in 5 minute chunks, and will more than compensate for that time by keeping you focused and operating near to your peak efficiency. It also helps you to keep an eye on what areas of your life you want to improve, teaching your subconscious to bring situations and opportunities involving those areas to your conscious attention. If that isn't enough to talk you into trying it out, remember that it also helps you to focus on getting the most important things done each day, with reminders throughout the day of what you wanted to accomplish.

All of that works out to help you easily keep your focus all day long. It also helps you to reduce your stress, frustration, and feelings of not getting anywhere, bringing more peace into your life. It can even help improve your relationships, as that can easily be on both your "areas to improve" list AND your "to do" list.

If you have any suggestions for ways to improve this process, or other things that you can add to it, please leave them in the comments.

8 Ways To Put Procrastination Off Until Tomorrow

Author

October 4th

Awareness, Body/Mind Relationship, Energy, Feed Your Mind, Internal Quiet, Planning, Priorities, Subconscious

Discard Your Life And Find The Real You

What is the real you? What is it that makes up the true you, what belongs to you and only you? What do you get when you see past the surface, past the anger and fear, "love" and betrayal, hurt, pain, and even agony? The real you… the deep you, the you that is beyond what the surface you can even imagine.

When you are born, you have no concept of your "self". As you grow older, you build up a structure, a belief system, a framework of lenses and mental maps through which you see the world. You are told, and you believe, that this framework is you. The framework gets covered with experiences and emotions, and even the spaces between the beams of the support structure get filled up eventually. You go on about your life with the belief that this giant amalgamation is you.

Everyone else around you believes this, too. Only what they think of as you isn't even the structure you have built up… it's only the surface of that structure, a surface that changes constantly as new experiences, new emotions, and new everything else piles up, sometimes stripping off pieces of the old coverings, but more often simply piling over them, making them part of the inside, and making that structure ever harder to discard.

As you go about, identifying more and more with this framework that you've built, some of it intentional construction, most of it not, you build walls, walling off this portion from that portion. You do this to protect yourself, to keep yourself from getting hurt, but that's not what they do, it's only what you fool yourself into believing they do. Because those walls don't keep things out, they keep things in.

That's right… you're building yourself a prison. A prison inside a structure that is built of the giant ball of stuff that you call your life. And you not only build this prison, you voluntarily stick yourself inside of it, trapping yourself in with all the pain and injuries that you have suffered over the years. And to top it off, the prison that you build, and trap yourself inside, can't ever even fulfill the purpose for which you supposedly built it… it can't even keep out new pain!

That's right… you build up this structure of falsehoods, lies told to yourself, walling yourself in to keep out the pain, and it doesn't even work. The walls only function in one direction… they hold things in. They hold you in… they limit you to far, far below your true abilities. They keep the pain that you have experienced close to you, so that it can continually injure you and prevent you from healing. What do you do when the pain builds, when it gets harder and harder to deal with? You build more walls, and build the walls you have higher!

The walls that you build for yourself are a prison… but they're also an illusion. They are part of the framework that you have built up, an integral part as a matter of fact. But here's the thing: that framework isn't you.

That's right, all those lenses and perceptions and mental maps, all those experiences and emotions, those hatreds and angers and fears… they aren't you. They're a tiny little pimple that you've built up on the surface of the real you. All that stuff that you're trying to protect, the part that hurts, the part that knows pain and fear and suffering… that is only the very smallest fraction of you. It's like looking at a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, and calling that the ocean.

The real you is vast. It is deep, and strong, and powerful. It cannot be hurt by the vagaries of this life, because it is only the tiniest fraction of it that is involved with this life. Your physical presence, and the structure that you have built up, are merely the tiny portion of it paying attention to what you perceive as your whole life. And when you identify yourself as that tiny portion, you are giving up the vastness of the real you, like identifying yourself as your pinky.

Your walls you have created are illusions, but they are self-maintained illusions, given the power that you are drawing through your connection to the real you. Want evidence that what I'm saying is right? It's very easy to obtain… all you have to do is let down one, just one, of your walls. You will immediately feel closer to that vastness that is the real you. And with each wall that you release, you will find yourself closer to that reality.

When you get close, you may be scared by the openness, the sheer open expanse that you feel drawing nearer. After all, for all of your life that you can remember, you have lived inside your walls. You may never have even had a moment's clarity, an opening of the mind's eye to see the vastness around you. If you HAVE had one of those moments, you may be even more scared, because you have an inkling of what it's like.

It's not an empty vastness, though… you aren't alone. In fact, when you reach that vastness, you'll find that you are connected to everyone and everything else, with a deepness of connection that the very word connection doesn't seem strong enough to convey the reality of what you feel. You are a part of everything, and everything is a part of you.

It's sometimes hard to keep this connection to the real you… it's easy to forget and focus back on the surface structure, identifying with that structure that you've built up. Once you've let the feeling go long enough, in fact, it's hard to remember what it was like… until something triggers it again, and then it all comes rushing back.

There is an old movie called Dune. They made a newer version of it, too, but I'm talking about the original. In it, there is a phrase that is repeated a few times: "The sleeper must awaken." I have always identified with this phrase… I've always felt like it meant something to me, something more. I've felt like there was something bigger slumbering inside me.

Lately, as I have read, and learned, and written, and looked inside of me, my awareness has gradually expanded, and the phrase has changed, in my mind, to "The sleeper is awakening." I felt that bigger thing inside of me stirring from its slumber, starting to uncoil.

Tonight, as I was talking to my wife to help her relax, something clicked. Sometimes the greatest words of wisdom come when the conscious mind gets the hell out of the way and lets things flow from far deeper inside. Suddenly, that thing that had slowly been awakening came aware. The sleeper has awoken.

This connection, this deeper you, is your connection to God, to the awareness that created, and contains, and in a way is, the universe. But it is being "consciously" (too small a term, I think) aware of that connection, not in some sort of vague "God created the Heavens and the Earth" kind of way. It is an intimate and strong connection, a direct connection. It is deep, wordless communication flowing back and forth, much of which, to this point at least, seems to be more of an "I am here" message and an "I know" response flowing from each direction.

This vastness is inside each of us… in fact, it IS each of us. We are not the limited lives reflected in the world we live in, we are not even the conscious part of our minds… we are far more than that. But in order to find our true selves, we must first give up the structure that have built up, that we have defined as "us"… and that's probably the hardest thing in the world to do. That last wall, the one that separates us from our true selves, the one that is the foundation of support for our whole framework of our lives, is really, really hard to let go. It is giving up the "you" that you have always known, for a great unknown.

Do not be afraid. The whole world will change before your eyes, leaving nothing unaltered. Once you let go of that last wall, and the fear, there will be no doubt, however.

It's worth it.

Author

September 28th

Awareness, Beliefs, Body/Mind Relationship, Communication, Conscience, Energy, Expectations, Fear, Feed Your Mind, Free Will, Growth, Healing, Internal Quiet, Learning, Motivation, Patterns, Relationships

The Eyes Of A Photographer

The world around us is filled with beauty. There is some way to look at anything around you and see beauty in it. Take, for example, the picture above… it's a photograph of an ordinary tree with a few small flowers around its base. You could easily pass by and not even notice it consciously… it is very ordinary. Looked at from the right angle, though, it can produce a very interesting picture.

Life is like that… you can find beauty in the most ordinary of places. There is, of course, the beauty of a truly happy smile… no matter whose face it is on. There is also the passing beauty that arises when one object is perfectly juxtaposed over another, like a palm tree silhouetted against a sunset sky.

Seeing these things, the extraodinary beauty in the common sight, is what it means to have the eyes of a photographer. You capture the moment, the precise frame, and store it, whether it's on film, a memory card, or just in your mind.

You can have the eyes of a photographer when it comes to the non-visual parts of life, too. You can find the beauty in a baby's laughter, a mischievious glint in a young boy's eyes, or the way your beloved touches you softly, looking into your eyes. These are beautiful moments that you can capture, just like a photographer captures a wondrous sight.

You can record them on the film of your mind, to review later, when circumstances warrant. You can bring them out to share with others, talking about the memories you have captured until the wee hours of the morning. You can look at them in the quiet of your own mind when you are sad, to remind you of the beauty of life (though sadness can be beautiful, too). Or you can simply have a quiet moment with your happy memories, reliving some of the best moments.

You don't have to capture every nuance of the scene in sharp detail… sometimes blurring background elements is part of the beauty of the whole. Look at the flower in the picture above, for instance… it is out of focus, blurred, but if it weren't, it would change the whole picture. It is often more useful to keep the important elements in sharp focus while allowing the rest to blur… it brings even more emphasis to the parts that are in focus, that you want to show.

So… where can you find beauty in the ordinary? Find something today, whether it's a picture, a sound, or a memory. And if you like, you can share it with me… you can find my email by clicking my name at the top of this article.

Author

September 21st

Awareness, Expectations, Feed Your Mind, Internal Quiet

Why It’s Hard To Have Peace Without Quiet

If someone asked you what the first word that comes to mind when you hear the word “peace” is, would your response be “quiet”? If it is, and you were asked to come up with a mental “image” of that, what would you come up with? For me, the picture above almost perfectly captures the mental feeling that the phrase “peace and quiet” conjures up.

When you think of peace and quiet, the quiet you are thinking of is probably a low volume of sound around you. There’s a far more important kind of quiet if you are seeking peace, however: an internal quiet.

The clarity of your thoughts is determined by the signal to noise ratio. Signal, in this case, is thoughts related to whatever it is you are trying to focus upon. Noise is unrelated thoughts and distractions. When you have 100% signal, your thoughts are crystal clear and you can be extremely effective. When the noise goes up, and the ratio drops, your effectiveness declines. If you want to operate at peak efficiency, then, you must get rid of the noise.

“Internal quiet” is when when the signal to noise ratio is high, when you let go of all the noise, all of the mental distractions and conflicts. It is when the crazy whirl of thoughts that we live in slows down, making any one thought clearer and more focused.

Internal quiet is directly influenced by external quiet. We have instincts, passed down from our cave man ancestors, that cause our subconscious to interrupt whatever our conscious mind is doing to alert us to any new, different, or unusual sound. This comes from the fact that sound was one of the cave man’s primary means of detecting predators, and thereby avoid getting eaten.

We have similar instincts in regards to vision, the cave man’s other primary means of detecting predators, but those instincts are easy to shut off: close your eyes. If you close your eyes, you can’t actually SEE any new, different, or unusual things (other than mental images, which are part of the “distractions” mentioned above).

It’s much harder to close your ears, however. There are noise-cancelling headphones, but these are usually quite expensive, and the feeling of having them on can be quite distracting itself. That means that if you want external quiet, in order to facilitate internal quiet, you are probably going to have to find some place where you can be alone.

Once you are alone, and all is quiet, you can start working on internal quiet. Actually, to be more accurate, you can STOP working in order to achieve internal quiet. Internal quiet can only be attained through letting go of working, seeking, or any other active pursuit. It is ironic, but internal peace cannot be achieved by seeking it… it can only be achieved by ceasing to seek.

Once you reach internal quiet, you begin to release physical and mental tension. You let go of emotions that you had been clinging to, and let your muscles relax. Both of these actions promote healing… you can’t heal a wound that you won’t stop digging at. Letting go also releases the energy that you had been pouring into your grip, so that it can be devoted to healing instead.

Sometimes, when you achieve internal quiet, you may find yourself overwhelmed by emotion. This is normal… you can’t let go of emotions until you stop suppressing them and feel them. Once you go through the emotion and come out on the other side, however, you’ll feel like a weight has been lifted.

Letting go brings peace. That peace leads to healing. Healing one injury leads to less resources (or energy) being used on that wound, enabling you to let go of more. That, in turn leads to more peace. It’s the opposite of a vicious cycle… it’s a virtuous cycle.

When you have too much noise, it is hard to let go, let alone start to heal. That is why peace needs quiet… it doesn’t necessarily have to be external quiet, though that helps too, but without internal quiet, peace is simply out of reach.

Author

August 29th

Healing, Internal Quiet, Subconscious

How To Get Rid Of Bad Dreams In One Simple Step

Sleeping Baby

Do you have bad dreams, whether nightmares of being chased or just those really intense, weird dreams that leave you more drained than before you went to sleep? There's a really simple process that, when done regularly, will very nearly eradicate such dreams, leaving you sleeping like a baby.

As you probably already know, dreams are generally related in some way to events that happened or things you thought about during the day. While your mind is at rest, your subconscious starts bringing up all these little things from the day that didn't quite get taken care of, and the conscious mind, since you are sleeping, tries to piece all these small, mostly unrelated, things together into something coherent. Since most of the stuff is not particularly related, trying to force it into something coherent can leave you with those really weird dreams.

Nightmares generally come about when one of those things that you didn't finish during the day is particularly intense and you perceive it in a negative manner. That could be something like financial worries, or feelings of being stuck, or fear of being rejected. Pretty much any thoughts that are emotionally charged in a negative way can cause bad dreams.

The intensity of your dreams is generally determined by the intensity of the emotions that you associated with the things that you didn't resolve during the day. If a really negatively charged event happens, or if you are feeling very strongly negative about something, you can have some very intense nightmares. Losing your job, or fearing that you are likely to do so, can result in some nasty dreams. So can having a relationship end, or the belief that it will. Anything that is that strongly charged with negative emotions can leave you in bad shape when it comes to dreaming.

So, now that you know where bad dreams come from, what can you do about it? Well, it's actually very simple, although not always easy, to do. And it only takes about fifteen minutes.

The process is simple. Start off by finding a comfortable and quiet spot where you can be by yourself about fifteen minutes (the time it takes can vary depending on you and how intense your day was) before you go to bed. Make sure that the lights aren't too bright, although you don't really want it dark either… light about equivalent to a 40 watt bulb works well for most people. When finding this spot, try to avoid it being your bed, and in fact, try to find some place you can sit, rather than lay down.

Once you have your spot, let your mind start to drift. Do NOT try to control what you think about… don't actively TRY to think about the events from the day, just let any thoughts that come up float about until they leave on their own. The same goes for emotions that come up… let them come up, float around, and drift off on their own. What you are doing is allowing your subconscious to bring up all the things it needs to bring up, but while you are awake, instead of asleep. This allows you to deal with them in a way that actually makes sense, instead of trying to piece them together into some sort of story line.

Let this continue until the flow of thoughts, feelings, and images slows down, hopefully even coming to a stop, where you reach internal quiet. If you reach this point, you will find that you have more peace throughout your life, not just more peaceful sleep. Even if you don't quite reach the point of quiet, though, you'll still have dealt with much of the stuff that would generally cause your bad dreams. You DO need to keep at it until your thoughts slow, though, because the surface, shallow stuff will come out first, and what you need to get rid of is the deeper stuff that only comes up once all the little stuff is dealt with.

This process will generally take about fifteen minutes, but the time can vary. If you do it regularly, especially if you do it more than just before bed, the time necessary can drop considerably. On the other hand, if you had a really eventful and stressful day, it may take longer, as you have more things to deal with. Just keep at it until your thoughts slow or stop.

One last thing… this has to be some place that you feel safe and unlikely to be interrupted. Interruptions can cause you to have to start all over again, even if it's from someone you love, like your wife or child, as they interrupt the flow of thoughts. You also likely won't relax enough if you expect to be interrupted, even if it doesn't actually happen. Same goes for feeling safe… if you don't feel safe, you won't relax enough to let the stuff start flowing.

If you do this every day, you will essentially never have nightmares again. You'll also find that you get better sleep, and likely even need less of it. You'll feel better rested and more focused. With all of that waiting for you, and only costing fifteen minutes of your time, what are you waiting for?

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Author

August 9th

Healing, Internal Quiet, Subconscious

Being Distracted Is Your Own Fault

Woman In The Window

Are you distracted all the time? Do you have trouble focusing on what you're doing? Well, it's your own fault, but there is something you can do about it.

First of all, let's get what distractions are out of the way. Distractions are when something comes to your attention that draws your focus away from whatever it was that you were doing. This breaks your concentration, and can throw off your rhythm, making it harder to get back to what you were doing before you were distracted.

That being said, there are, at any given time, hundreds or thousands of things going on around you that could get your attention. The vast majority of these things pass by beneath our conscious awareness, but some pop up into that realm. This is because your subconscious determines that whatever it is needs your attention urgently enough to take your conscious attention away from what it is you are doing.

Your subconscious takes its cues as to what is important enough to distract you with from your conscious mind. If you give a lot of importance to what you are doing, if you love it and are passionate about it, then it takes quite an occurrence to distract you. If, on the other hand, you are doing something that you feel you HAVE to do, not something that you want to do, your subconscious listens to this guidance as well, and the threshold for something to come to your attention will be much lower. The barrier to something coming to your conscious attention is lowest when you're doing something you don't want to do AND have something important to think about, and especially if that thing that is important to think about is one you don't want to think about.

So your subconscious mind does what your conscious mind tells it to do, even if you barely realize you're doing it. If you tell it that you don't want to be where you are, doing what you're doing, then it will try to present you with other things going on around you. If you tell it that you are totally engrossed in what you are doing, it will filter out all but the most important events. If you try to avoid thinking about something that you know you need to think about, it will pass you just about everything, not doing much filtering at all.

There's the problem and its cause, so now what can you do about it? Well, the first thing you can do is make sure you take quiet time. This gives you the opportunity to stop avoiding all those thoughts that you're trying not to think about, thus lessening your seeking for distractions. The second thing you can do is learn to prioritize, and work on things in priority order… this will cause you to be working on something important to you up until you get all of that accomplished, at which point distractions are not so bad, anyway, as they may provide you with an opportunity that you otherwise would have missed. The final thing you can do is work on increasing your awareness, as the more aware you are, the more your conscious mind is in direct control, rather than sitting back waiting for the subconscious to filter everything for it.

So now you are aware of what you are doing, and know how to change it, so what are you waiting for? Don't let anything distract you on your path to growth and awareness!

Author

July 26th

Awareness, Internal Quiet, Subconscious

How To Be Smarter And More Relaxed

Does your mind keep going off on its own, thinking about things that have nothing to do with the task at hand? Do you have trouble coming up with solutions to difficult problems? Do you feel stressed out and overwhelmed? If you follow the steps outlined below, you can overcome these problems.

Step One – Early Morning Quiet

Every morning, after you are up and have gotten ready, but before you start working, take a few minutes to yourself. Let whatever comes to mind drift in and back out until you have internal quiet**. Let yourself be quiet for a few moments, then repeat (it can be out loud, or in your mind, as long as you think out the whole thing) what you want to accomplish both that day, and any overarching goals you are working on. Visualize achieving these goals as well as you are able, then take another minute or two of quiet, and you'll be ready to be on your way, sharp and focused for your work day.

** A note on this: The time it takes to achieve internal quiet varies with the amount of time between attempts to reach it… in other words, the more often you seek internal quiet, the easier it is to achieve each individual time.

Step Two – Mid-Day Review

At lunch time, take just a moment to look back over the morning and see what you've accomplished. This can help you feel like you've gotten something done, as well as helping you to focus your energy on what's most important in the rest of the day. Take this opportunity to again repeat whatever goals you are pursuing… repetition helps to set them more firmly in your mind.

Step Three – Evening Quiet And Review

In the evening, when you're done for the day, take a few moments again to review what you did that day, what got accomplished and what did not. Form a general idea of what you want to accomplish the next day. Repeat, again, the goals that you want to accomplish. Take a few moments to seek internal quiet again, letting the days events go. This should clear work from your mind so that you can focus on your home life, connecting easily with friends and family.

Step Four – Just Before Bed

After you do your preparations for bed, brushing your teeth and such, you're ready for the last step of this process. Think back over the events of the entire day, what you liked, what you didn't, what you got accomplished and how you felt… just a general review so that you can learn from what happened. When you're done, repeat one last time your goals, then take a few deep breaths and relax your body, while once again finding your internal quiet. This shouldn't take long, as you've already done it three times this day. Now you should be able to easily drift off to sleep, and you should sleep well, awakening the next day refreshed.

Conclusion

If you do all of these things, adding them to your daily routine, you will find that your mind is much clearer. You will be able to respond to new situations and problems more easily. You will learn new skills faster, achieve your goals better, and keep your mind more focused. Stress will fade out, and you will very seldom feel overwhelmed.

When you first start, this may add 45 minutes to an hour to your day, but the time it takes will quickly drop. Most people, once they're started, take less than 30 minutes. Really accomplished practitioners can do it in 10. Any time you skip a day or more, it make take extra time to get back into your groove, driving up the time it takes (not to mention the fact that you'll feel your clarity fade away), but you can simply start doing it again and the time it takes will go back down.

All those benefits for a grand total of approximately 30 minutes per day… not a bad bargain!