Comments on: How To Get Your Step-Son (Or Daughter) To Like You – Reader Questions http://www.amiracleaday.com/articles/2008/01/18/how-to-get-your-step-son-or-daughter-to-like-you-reader-questions/ Helping To Find Everyday Miracles Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:23:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jason http://www.amiracleaday.com/articles/2008/01/18/how-to-get-your-step-son-or-daughter-to-like-you-reader-questions/#comment-1032 Jason Sun, 10 Jul 2011 01:49:46 +0000 "Normal" is a relative term... but I wouldn't say that is normal. Does his father act like that, as well? Does his father back you up when you say something, or laugh when the son ignores what you said? In order for you to have authority, you need to take it (there needs to be immediate, predictable consequences to disobeying you... and that needs to come from you, not the father), and his father needs to back you up. When you tell Isaiah to do something and he doesn't, his father needs to immediately come down on him for it... something like "She told you to do it, now do it." Even for biological parents, both parents need to reinforce each other's authority for the family to function properly. Each parent needs to back the other parent up, and only overrule them when it's extremely important (i.e. you say they can go to their friend's house, other parent knows there's some shady party going on). You really need to look at how Isaiah's father acts... does he reinforce you or undermine you? This is not only in terms of Isaiah, though... if Isaiah sees his father treating you poorly, undermining you, etc., in other areas, he will still learn that that is how you should be treated. “Normal” is a relative term… but I wouldn’t say that is normal. Does his father act like that, as well? Does his father back you up when you say something, or laugh when the son ignores what you said? In order for you to have authority, you need to take it (there needs to be immediate, predictable consequences to disobeying you… and that needs to come from you, not the father), and his father needs to back you up. When you tell Isaiah to do something and he doesn’t, his father needs to immediately come down on him for it… something like “She told you to do it, now do it.”

Even for biological parents, both parents need to reinforce each other’s authority for the family to function properly. Each parent needs to back the other parent up, and only overrule them when it’s extremely important (i.e. you say they can go to their friend’s house, other parent knows there’s some shady party going on).

You really need to look at how Isaiah’s father acts… does he reinforce you or undermine you? This is not only in terms of Isaiah, though… if Isaiah sees his father treating you poorly, undermining you, etc., in other areas, he will still learn that that is how you should be treated.

]]> By: tiffney http://www.amiracleaday.com/articles/2008/01/18/how-to-get-your-step-son-or-daughter-to-like-you-reader-questions/#comment-1031 tiffney Sat, 09 Jul 2011 23:03:41 +0000 Okay I have a step son and when I tell him to do something he just smiles and does the opisit and then he listens to his dad me and his dad fight all the time because he don't see how isaiah (my step son) treats me and I treat this boy like he is mine and he tells me to go away and calls me a bitch and tells me to stop looking at him he is 3 is this normal? Oh also he never does it as bad when his dads here but the second daddy is gone he starts Okay I have a step son and when I tell him to do something he just smiles and does the opisit and then he listens to his dad me and his dad fight all the time because he don’t see how isaiah (my step son) treats me and I treat this boy like he is mine and he tells me to go away and calls me a bitch and tells me to stop looking at him he is 3 is this normal? Oh also he never does it as bad when his dads here but the second daddy is gone he starts

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