Men and women experience love in very different ways. Most people are not conscious of this as they go through their lives, and so they attempt to show their love to people of the other sex in the same way they want it shown to them, in the same way they think of it naturally, without considering how the other person views it.
There are certain things that are necessary to feel loved that are shared among nearly all people, regardless of gender. This includes things like time together, touching, communicating, and other things of this nature. This type of thing is worth of its own article, so for this article, I’m sticking with things that are either specific with regards to wives with their husbands, or at least more emphasized.
Women, if you’re reading this, realize that just like you, a man doesn’t feel loved just because you say “I love you”. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say it (you should), but you can’t just leave it at that… and most men won’t tell you that they don’t feel loved. Many of them don’t even realize that is what is bothering them, they just know they aren’t happy, and possibly that it has to do with their relationship, but not be able to put it into a solid concept that they don’t feel loved.
I’m a man. I know that most of the things I need to feel loved, when they are boiled down to basics, are the same for most other men. There may be a few here and there that one of the things below do not apply to, or a few here and there where there is another essential addition. If you are one of those men, and reading this, please add them in the comments. For the vast majority, however, I think this list covers the basics.
So, with no further ado, ladies, here are some basic ways you can show your husband you love him.
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Respect Him
The most effective way to make a man feel unloved is to disrespect him, especially in front of others. If you have any desire at all to take good care of your husband, and make him feel loved, do not ridicule him, overrule him, or dismiss him in front of someone else. It’s bad enough to do it in private (you really do NOT need to use these methods… find another way to convey your message), but in public you might as well slap his face.
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Admire Him
This is related to the first, but from the other side. Respecting him is more about avoiding disrespect than in overt display of respect. Admiring him, on the other hand is explicitly about conveying to him, by words or gestures, what it is that you like about him. This can be body language, like giving him “elevator eyes” when he’s watching, if you like his body, or it can be words, like telling him that you love his sense of humor. You should always make sure that you use something appropriate to the circumstances, however… telling him you love his sense of humor while you’re at his father’s funeral together might not be a good idea.
You also need to vary this, finding new (or infrequently used) little things to tell him you like on a fairly regular basis. If you have trouble coming up with stuff on your own (are you sure you’re with the right guy for you?), then just instantly tell him when he takes an action you like… if he comes around and opens you car door for you, and you like it, tell him so. Always hearing the same thing, like “I love your sense of humor”, makes it lose its power for this. It gets to the point where he won’t really believe you, thinking you’re just saying it to manipulate him.
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Let Him “Overhear” You Praise Him
This works wonders, but has to be used infrequently, and with caution. It doesn’t work, and can feel manipulative, if you pretend like you don’t know he’s there, but he can tell that you do. It’s much better, and safer, to ACTUALLY praise him to others, and occassionally he’ll be nearby when you do so, and overhear it. This technique actually works if you do it outright, too, as long as you don’t over do it. That is, you can flat out say to someone “My husband is great, he does X for me”, with him sitting beside you, and it will make him feel like you respect and admire him (see above).
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Drop Everything
This is a little thing that has major effects. One of the most effective ways of showing someone you love them is to make them top priority, to the point where you stop everything you’re doing, whatever it is, to focus on them. That is, you step away from the computer, let the baby play by herself, turn off the TV, stop cooking dinner, whatever it is you’re doing, and go to that person and specifically show them that they are your central focus RIGHT THEN. This is particularly effective when you first see them after a separation (ie when you or they get home from work, etc.).
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Notice His Strengths
This is similar to admiring him, but specific to his strengths. That is, if it’s hard for you to get the lid off the jar, and you know he can, go ask him, telling him something like “I’m not strong enough to open this. Can you do it for me?”. If his strength is math, ask him to calculate the price per ounce of something (or a similar feat of arithmetic), telling him it’s too hard for you. Don’t lie in this… he’ll know. Just make a point of asking him to help anywhere that you know is a strength of his that complements a weakness of yours. As noted, this can be physical or mental… “Can you move this for me, I can’t do it?” or “Can you help me figure out how to word this?”. Just like admiring him, though, overuse of this in one area tends to lower its effectiveness, eventually becoming more annoying than complementary.
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Forgive His Weaknesses
Your husband has his weaknesses. All men do, and all women, too, for that matter. Do NOT use his weaknesses against him. If you use them to try to manipulate him, if you bring them up any time it’s not absolutely necessary, he will start feeling like you don’t respect him in that area. This applies to showing off areas where you are noticeably stronger than him, too, unless it’s somewhere he feels he doesn’t need to (or can’t) compete, which is generally areas that are not considered masculine, or areas where it is widely acknowledged that special talent is required, like singing.
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No Comparisons
One of the worst things a wife can do is compare her husband to an ex, whether husband or boyfriend. Doing so is bad even if you are saying that your husband is better in some way. Men understand that they were not necessarily the first person you were with, the first person you loved, but that doesn’t mean they want it brought into their conscious awareness. And if you compare your husband poorly, as in he’s not as good at this or that, then this is multiplied. You are disrespecting him, pointing out his weaknesses, AND reminding him that you were with other men before him. That’s just asking to bring up negative emotions and associate them with you.
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No Guilt Trips
It’s a classic, portrayed in uncountable movies and television shows… the wife gives her husband a guilt trip until he does what she wants. Manipulating someone is a bad idea. Clumsily manipulating them is even worse, but manipulating them at all is bad. This has two sides, in that it’s bad for both the person being manipulated and the one doing it.
The person being manipulated, by definition, feels like he is having his power of choice taken from him. If you feel that it’s still completely your choice, then you are not being manipulated. That doesn’t mean that someone isn’t TRYING to do so, but if you still feel like it’s entirely your choice, then they are not succeeding. Now, for someone who DOES feel like their choice is being taken from them, they will resent this strongly. One of the most powerful motivating factors in a human life is the desire to be free, to prove that you can make your own decisions, and that those decisions matter. Messing with this desire is playing with fire… if the person you are manipulating notices it, even later on, after the fact, they will resent it. Since, in this case, we are talking about your spouse, that means that resentment is likely to be there, even if it eventually fades, as a factor when he thinks about you for the rest of your lives together. It may be small, maybe even so small that he’s not consciously aware of it, but it will, none the less, be there.
Manipulating someone is bad for the person doing the manipulation, also. When you attempt to manipulate someone, you attempt to take some of their humanity from them. They will, as mentioned above, resent this, generally resenting even an unsuccessful attempt. But it’s just as bad for the person doing it, especially if they are doing it to their spouse, because it takes away from your concept of the person you’re trying to manipulate as a person, an individual, and instead turns them into more of an object. Objects can be generally counted on to have the same output when given the same input. Thinking of people in this way robs them of their humanity, their power of individual choice, making you respect, and love, them less. Presumably, if you’re reading this article, that’s not exactly what you have in mind.
So there you have it, 8 ways to show your husband that you love him. Some are things to actively do, some are things to actively make sure you DON’T do, but when they are all put together, and included with the things that all people need to feel loved, your husband will know, and feel, that you love him.
September 10, 2010
i ll love him ytill the end.
i have the loveliest hubby of the word.
his love his anger has made me a good woman.
September 10, 2010
His anger has made you a good woman?
June 15, 2011
Number 5 really irked me. As a woman, I don’t feel that to make my husband feel better and to notice his strengths I have to put myself down by saying, “Can you do this math problem? It’s too hard for me.” or “Can you move this piece of furniture? I’m not strong enough.” Give me a break! I think a self-respecting woman could just say, “Could you do this math problem? I love that you’re so good at math.” She doesn’t need to make herself small and less intelligent so her husband can feel better. Couples feel good when they are smart and strong together.
June 15, 2011
I didn’t say to put yourself down… acknowledging your own weaknesses is not putting yourself down, and I specifically said don’t lie about it (in order to put yourself down, or make yourself small, you would have to be either saying you have a weakness you do not or exaggerating your weakness). If you can be comfortable with your weaknesses, you can make him more comfortable with HIS own weaknesses, and vice versa… everyone has their weaknesses, but sometimes it’s easy to forget that with your strengths you can help someone else in their area of weakness.
I like your phrasing, “Could you do this math problem? I love that you’re so good at math.” I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting at the same time that your significant other is better at something than you are.
I don’t believe in any way that any person (male or female) should make themselves small and less intelligent to make someone else, spouse or not, feel better. What I believe is that it is good to acknowledge your weaknesses, whatever they may be, especially if it’s in an area that your spouse has complementary strengths… You SHOULD be using your strengths to complement each others weaknesses.
If you want an example, I ask my wife to handle negotiations… she’s much better at it than I am, and I have no problem telling her so. I don’t see any need to be defensive about it… if someone has a strength that you have need of, what’s the problem with putting it that way?
Again, I do NOT think you should put yourself down to make someone else feel better, regardless of who that person may be, but I do think that acknowledging your weaknesses, particularly in comparison to their strengths, is good for both people… I just don’t think that qualifies as putting yourself down.
July 22, 2011
MANY R THE TYMZ THAT I TRY TO SHOW HOW MUCH I LOV HIM BY HOLDING HIMCLOSER TO ME BUT ONE THING AV NOTICT ABT HIM IS THAT HE DOES NOT LUK LIKE HE LIKES IT OR HE ENJOYD IT,SOMETIME I FILL HURT AS IF U ARE JUST BEGGING HIM TO LOV U OK I DONT UNDERSTAND HIM ND I RILLY HURT IT IF HE REAQCTS AS IF HIS GOT NO TYM FOR ME
July 21, 2011
Good advice sorta but I can tell a selfish man wrote this. It was kind of annoying to read. Looks more like this guy has some problems in relationships and will continue because its almost like giving someone advice on how to eliminate you and your needs for the sake of a needy selfish man.
July 21, 2011
Oh btw there are other writers and sites that have content that will help you both. This one just screams insecure controlling needy immature wife beater. Lmao this is horrible please delete this and stop embarrassing your self. I’m sorry this is so lame and 1950′ s sitcom lol not real life buddy. This is a epic fail.
July 22, 2011
MEN WANTS TO BE TRITTED LIKE BABYS NOT KNOWING THAT EVEN WOMEN SOMTIMES NEEDS TO BE TRITTED AS BABYS.
July 22, 2011
Susan… yes, sometimes any given person wants to just be taken care of, and not have responsibility, like a baby, especially when the stress is high. As far as what you wrote about your husband… you are going to need to be open about it and straight up ask. Some people have a hard time touching (or being touched), but if that’s not it, there is probably something that’s keeping him from feeling close to you emotionally. It’s uncomfortable to have someone touch you if you don’t feel close to them. Be aware that the reason for not being close may not even have anything to do with you… it can be some other situation (having recently lost a job, or a loved one, or any other really high stress/trauma event), but whatever it is, talking about it is important.
Heather… not agreeing with what I said doesn’t require you to attack me. I have a great relationship with my wife (we’re coming up on ten years together soon). I’m not sure if she’d laugh at your description of me or be offended.
I said nothing about “eliminating you and your needs”… I don’t believe that at all. I believe that a good relationship requires you to put the needs of your significant other on a level footing with your own needs… I realize that’s not always popular these days, but then again, a lot of relationships don’t last these days, either.
You might want to read my articles about how to show your wife you love her before you make your judgement on my relationship and personality traits… or maybe even actually have some idea of who I am, before feeling the need to trash me.
July 23, 2011
I did laugh at Heather’s response. She may have read the article with a closed mind, or at the wrong time. Perhaps she’s not in a loving relationship. Whatever the case may be, I feel sorry for people who refuse to see the good that others are trying to do. Laughed, because you are the most unselfish person I’ve ever known. I also know that Jason and I are beyond fortunate to not just be married and in love, but are soul mates. They say for better or worse, but I didn’t know it could be better and better. I understand there are many relationships in which they are perfectly happy loving and fighting, both. I, for one, am anti-drama, passionate, and feel good when I can genuinely help someone. Not because it makes me “better” than them. I am often on the other end needing help, and knowing that my husband is there for me, no matter what, brings us closer every single day. Not a moment goes by that I am not grateful for him, and I intend on continuing to be so. Coming up on 10 years, and I can absolutely tell you forever isn’t long enough. Loving you today and everyday, Jason Ivers. <3
XOXO,
Your Wifeypoo
December 2, 2011
Hello Amy and Jason,
Being married is the greatest thing ever! I don’t want to be someone that pushes things on people..but because of the love I can see that you have for each other, I feel like I should mention to you “eternal marriage.” It is the best thing ever. I don’t see why some people just want to be married for “life.” (Of course, some people don’t even know that they can be sealed for eternity…which is why I’m mentioning this) When someone really loves someone, I’d think they’d want to be with them forever! 
For time and all eternity! It is possible, and if you write me back I can tell you how.
I just want you to know that I admire that you have been married about ten years. I am just coming up on two!
Also, thank you for this great article. I love my husband so much and always want him to know that I love him so very much.
Sincerely,
Madison
January 11, 2012
Jason, it is great for you to supply a site with kind thoughts and practices to cherish and hold a relationship together, offering ways that have worked for you, and likely others. I feel it unfortunate that Heather, clearly angry and likely alone, has to insult you through her commentary. Heather, if you feel there is better ways for Jason to write, then clearly there is room for you to improve your attitude and your comments and not just find an internet site to rant on while you hide behind the anonymity of cyber space an bullying your wee audience with you angry, polluted commentary.
I really like the information provided – a thoughtful column that I found while cruising around the internet waiting for the frost to abate so my husband and I can go and work outside today in balmy January on the West Coast – my husband is a very strong man, and I a very strong woman, and it is good for us to compliment one another on our respective strengths – we do marry in order to complement and work together at making a life! Thank you Jason.
July 29, 2011
Hello Jason,
Thank you for your article. Im also in a loving relationship with my soul mate. Im always looking for new ways to show my husband just how much he means to me and to make him feel as awesome as he makes me feel on a daily basis. Point 4 I gave a go today (putting the baby down to play by itself for a few mins- ha now thats not as easy as it sounds!) and I could tell he was just wrapped to have my attention as he came through the door, especially as he was looking forward to coming home to be with me all day. Cheers for the ideas!
July 29, 2011
That’s awesome, Amber… it makes my day when my daughter and my wife compete (playfully) for the first hug when I get home. It can make up for a really lousy rest of the day!
August 13, 2011
Hi Jason
This is a fantastic article.
I’ve been with my wonderful husband coming up for 10 years. In the past I have been guilty of putting work first and maybe not showing him the respect that he certainly gives me. He does sometimes express that he doesn’t feel loved and I can see by just saying the words it doesn’t help – this article rings true on every point and has really given me some practical ideas to be able to demonstrate to my husband how much I value him as he really is wonderful and does so much for me. We’re expecting our first baby in a few weeks and I’m convinced one of the main reasons I’ve enjoyed my pregnancy so much is down to him being so sensitive, supportive and loving – I couldn’t wish for anyone better.
Can’t wait to put your advice to good use.
Best wishes and Thank you
August 13, 2011
Jason your last comment is soo cute. I can imagine how happy it makes you. And of course thank you for the article. There is absolutely nothing wrong or selfish about this article.
August 15, 2011
It’s comical to see the women on here that become so defensive for no reason whatsoever. This article was not demeaning to women in any manner nor does the author come off as selfish. I think many modern women these days take things way out of context and automatically assume gender bias. It’s kind of like those people who will find “racism” out of any ordinary phrase or situation. It’s almost like people look for a way to cause unnecessary trouble. Sexism is one word that has lost it’s meaning due to people like Heather and Tara. Sorry to break it to you, but as a woman there are some things I do better than my husband and vice versa we can’t have it all… That goes for either gender! Oh and as for the article itself, I do most of this for my husband already, he has always said he feels loved so the tips on this page work for my husband and I at least.
August 16, 2011
Thank you all for your support. I appreciate it.
One thing specifically to Sierra… I couldn’t agree with you more on people assuming bias, whether it’s gender, race, or big feet. I find that incredibly frustrating, as I try to see every person as just a person (which can sometimes be amusing when applied to say, your boss’s boss… hey, they are just another person, too).
Anyway, thank you for all of the positive comments… it makes me glad to see that not everyone is taking what I wrote in a way other than what is meant.
August 23, 2011
Do you know what the actual issue with the most of the women is? They are way too nice. Catering his every need. You need to really just attempt to stand up for yourself instead to ensure he’s the one which works to have an attention from you. That’s the way it ought to be in nature.
August 23, 2011
The issue with most people, women or not, is that they often forget how important it is to SHOW someone that you love them. You may love them so much that it’s like breathing, but they can’t see inside you to see how much you love them, so you need to go out of your way to make sure that they know it. Different people need to be shown in different ways, but you can generalize to some extent, and gender is one of the most accurate ways to generalize that I have found (though it’s not 100% accurate on ANY person, especially if you get into details, instead of broad areas).
By the way, male or female, making someone constantly work to get your attention/love is a very effective way to ensure that the relationship wears down over time. It often works well for the person getting the attention in the short run, but give it a few years, and it usually isn’t working very well for either person.
September 12, 2011
It is great that you put this out there for people who truly are about making their loved one feel special and loved. I have only been married a few years and I know I am guilty of making the mistake of letting life’s obstacles get in the way of showing love to my husband. When we were first starting off together I wrote him sweet loving messages all the time and I did come home to him with hugs and kisses. I have allowed other factors in my life distract me from making him feel special and it became an issue neither of us really noticed until someone else decided to give him that attention. He enjoyed the praise and the compliments and luckily we became aware of this about ourselves before something damaging occured between us. I appreciate a guy’s point of view on what can make a man feel loved. I know I will make a point to put these ideas into action because I love my husband more than anything in the world, and I just forgot to let him in on it. He will know just how wonderful he is to me from now on.
Thanks for sharing and congrats on 10 years!
September 12, 2011
Thank you, NC. Almost every person will, in a long enough relationship, start taking the little things for granted and, as you said, allow life’s obstacles to get in the way of showing the other person how much they love them. I’m glad to hear that you caught it before it went too far… I am rooting for you!
November 3, 2011
Jason – This is such a wonderful collection of thoughts on how to really cherish your husband for the gift that he is. It took me years to fully understand that my husband needed praise, appreciation and love just as much as I did. I especially liked how you pointed out how crucial it is to just step away from what you’re doing to really embrace your partner after not seeing them for a time. Early in most marriages, we’re so quick to show that type of devotion and affection to our spouse, but it wanes over time. Small things like a hug at the end of the day, a shoulder rub or even a calm and attentive ear to listen to them can really enrich a marriage. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this article. It’s something many married individuals should read and share with their spouse.
November 8, 2011
It’s amazing how much the greeting that I get when I get home after working all day can set the tone of the entire day. It can make a bad day okay, make a neutral day good, or a good day great. It can also do the opposite, unfortunately… but my family is pretty good about dropping what they are doing to come give me a hug, and getting hugs from people you love as much as I love my family can really go a long way toward lifting your day into positive territory.
November 21, 2011
You have got to be kidding!!!??? Obviously this was written BY a woman FOR women.
Why are so many Christian marriages unhappy? I mean come on, we have the ultimate answer to life. Shouldn’t our marriages be so much better than the world around us?
One answer is because we have allowed Satan to twist our thinking. He has managed to make marriage something rather meaningless in the world aournd us. While at the same time making our own marriages rather joyless.
Do you REALLY want to tell your husband you love him? Look to Song of Soloman. Yes ladies, that is right. The absolute best way to tell most husbands “I love you” is to please him with the gift of sex that God has uniquely given you the ability to give.
But of course this truth is not going to show up on most Christian sites. Why? Because Satan has turned sex into some sort of dirty word to most Christians. He has tricked us into turning our backs on somethign that God gave married couples to give them joy. A lot of joy!
Take it back! It should be at the VERY TOP of any list like this. And yes, I do mean the very top.
November 27, 2011
I must say, this article is not only helpfully information but also very true. There are men who can make women have negative responses here as such however, women forget the powerful things that Love (real love) can do for a marriage (real marriage )…. This article works on one who will in return love you for giving them “special attention “. Let us not forget “what we really want… Real Love” and this article is fir real lovers
December 2, 2011
Hello Amy and Jason,
Being married is the greatest thing ever! I don’t want to be someone that pushes things on people..but because of the love I can see that you have for each other, I feel like I should mention to you “eternal marriage.” It is the best thing ever. I don’t see why some people just want to be married for “life.” (Of course, some people don’t even know that they can be sealed for eternity…which is why I’m mentioning this) When someone really loves someone, I’d think they’d want to be with them forever! 
For time and all eternity! It is possible, and if you write me back I can tell you how.
I just want you to know that I admire that you have been married about ten years. I am just coming up on two!
Also, thank you for this great article. I love my husband so much and always want him to know that I love him so very much.
Sincerely,
Madison
December 20, 2011
This is very similar to the five love languages. I just in the last couple of months began to incorporate this into my relationship. It makes me happy to know that I can do things to show him what I feel inside. Sometimes the word love is too little. He has also read the book and we have discussed it. However, I feel very little reciprocating by him. On several different occasions, I’ve told him how I feel. I use the phrase, “My love tank is low” I ask him if his is low or if I’m not meeting his needs. I recognize that often people stop showing love if they are not shown/feeling love. He says it is good and that he is happy and that there it’s nothing more I could do. He tells me I’m doing a good job at making him feel loved. We talk about what will make me feel loved. It is kind of hard. But I’m able to tell him what makes me feel unloved and unimportant. I tell him some things that will help. He promises to work on it and does. It will last a couple weeks and then we are back where we were before. He loves me. I know he does because he tells me all the time, I just feel unloved. He was married before and tells me the pain of being hurt and unloved so he knows the feeling. What am I doing wrong? How can I effectively communicate this to him? Is it possible that I might not be making him happy and feeling loved even if he tells me so?
December 20, 2011
It is possible that is the case, yes. Someone who has been hurt badly will often have trouble opening themselves up enough to tell you, and by doing so make themselves vulnerable to being hurt by you. This is even more likely if he actually uses the words that you used “He says it is good and that he is happy and that there it’s nothing more I could do.” That last part especially can actually mean “There is nothing more that I’m going to tell you.” or “There is nothing more that I’m worthy of” (especially if his previous marriage ended by his wife leaving him or cheating on him, and you already said he felt unloved).
Here is another thing to think about, though… when you tell him what makes you feel unloved and unimportant, or what will help, how many things do you tell him? It’s very hard to make one change in habits established over months and years, let alone several at the same time. Why don’t you figure out what the one thing is that would make you feel more loved (or less unloved), that is a reasonably small change for him? As an example, one of the things that makes me feel the most loved is being greeted at the door with love (hugs and kisses) when I come home from work. This is a small thing for my wife, but a big thing for me… it helps me to transition from being closed off at work to open and loved at home. I don’t know what similar level of action thing would work for you… A call at lunch, to show he’s thinking of you? A written note a couple of times per week? Try to find something along that level of effort.
If it’s a daily thing, help him to remember… thank him when he does it, and tell him how much you appreciate it. That makes it, in his head, a small effort for a decent reward. If he can keep doing that one thing for a month, it will be established as a new habit, and then you can try to find another one thing for him to add (or stop). In this way, he’s not trying to change his whole nature at once, which is incredibly hard to keep up without a major trauma providing the motive behind it, but instead just making one small change.
As far as the not making him happy thing, though… he may actually be happy, and just content with what you already do and don’t do. If he’s not, it’s likely going to be really hard to get him to tell you what it really is that he wants… the only real way is to establish trust through him starting to make you happy (or at least not making you unhappy), and you, showing how open you are to him, showing him that you REALLY want to do something special in return. If he believes it, and is feeling comfortable right then (i.e. it’s after a good day together, etc.), he may actually tell you what it is that he would really like.
Alright, that was long enough to be an entire article… sorry. I hope you see this and it helps you.
January 16, 2012
this info has really put things into prospective for me. i never really considered any of this and now reading this i can see where my husband is coming from when he says he doenst feel loved by me. i do love him so much but guess i have gotten so used to the rutt we are in and just thought this is what married life is like. in the start i was so touchy and feely always wanted to be in the bedroom very talkitive and after 6 yeas i guess that side of me has faded into the distance. i didnt even realise how unhappy and unloved he felt until things blew up on christmas day and he opened himself up to me and said he has been trying for the last year to see if we can make our family work but doesnt think it can anymore. i am constantly putting him down in front of his friends without eve realising it i guess it has become some what a second nature for me, and showing more interest in his friends and being nice to his friends that him and i have no idea why i do that. reading your article has given me a few things to focus on, he is this best man i have ever known i just hope we can get back to how it used to be thanks alot for this article.
January 17, 2012
You’re welcome… it’s easy to get used to things, and forget to appreciate them any more, to forget how much better “the norm” is than the way it was before. It’s also easy to get to where you avoid things that cause discomfort or pain (of the mental/emotional variety), but feeling that pain is essential… you can’t block out only negative emotions, so when you try to avoid all emotional pain, you end up avoiding all emotional joy, too. Instead, you need to let yourself feel the pain, let it pass over you and through you, and then it won’t anchor so hard in you, leaving you with much more ability to find (and appreciate) the joy and beauty that is always around you.
February 29, 2012
Wow, people are just angry.
March 12, 2012
I don’t understand why women always have problems reading men’s view on how they (men) should be treated. Does it always have to be about women and how she should be treated?? Feminists whine because they feel threatened by men. But the real strength of a woman is the ability to read a man’s sound advice without feeling insecure. In fact, only real women will go out and look for advice on how she can make her husband feel loved! Feminists don’t want to love their man, they want men to love them ONLY.
May 4, 2012
what do you do when it seems like you do everythin to show your husband you love him but he doesn’t appreciate what you do. im pretty new to marriage and wish for nothing more than to have more affection and respect from him the way i love and respect him. he won’t communicate or anything and i don’t know what else i can do i really love him and i wish he could listen and understand my feelings also.
May 22, 2012
Omg God. For all the feminist that replied: you really need to put aside your pride for your husband. Apparently, if you ran into this sight you were looking for ways to love your husband in his view. So whats with all of the grief? I am a very outspoken person who does stand up for myself and I am independent. I had to learn that putting my selfishness aside really helps our love grow. I dont believe that you are dumbing yourself down or looking weak when you try these tactics. Your husband knows you and if you are “out of character” he will probably understand that your doing it for him and he will probably appreciate it.