- There is an easy way to strengthen any relationship… including going from no relationship to a slight relationship. It’s so universal that it is present in animals, as well, not just people.That way is simple touch.
This can be as simple as shaking hands when you first meet someone… that initial touch forms a very simple bond, but it bypasses a little of the “stranger” alert system that sits in the back of our minds. If you are greeting a friend and you hug them, it renews the bonds between you, letting you skip the little small talk ritual that otherwise might apply.
This goes all the way up to strengthening a marriage, too… any marriage that doesn’t involve frequent touch is nearly certain to drift apart. This can range from holding hands to snuggling, from “footsie” to kissing and more.
People are all hardwired this way… touch releases oxytocin, which is a chemical that some scientists even refer to as “the trust hormone”. It is part of the bonding between parent and child, between husband and wife, and even between friends… it can actually be the difference between being friends and being acquaintances or “friends”.
Touch, however, can also have negative effects, if the other person already has a negative view of you, even if that view is temporary. It’s easy to understand what I mean… picture someone you can’t stand kissing you, and that revulsion you feel, that pushing away, is what I mean.
Just as oxytocin bonds you closer together, adrenaline can have the reverse effect, strengthening a negative association in the subconscious with that person. The fact that is does it in the subconscious can make this even worse, as the association can affect things for a long time without the person even knowing why.
The take away here is that if you have a positive relationship that you would like to be stronger, reach out to the person… literally.
PS – Although adrenaline can have a negative effect on an already negative association, it can also have a strongly positive effect on a neutral to positive relationship… this is a major factor in the brotherhood that comes from dangerous occupations like firemen, police, or the military. It’s also why things like amusement parks can be a fast way to make a relationship stronger, whether that is friends, relatives, or something else, as long as both people actually enjoy the rush.
- There are few people in this world who have their life exactly the way they like it… most of us, in fact, often feel helpless to even move toward what we want. We feel “stuck”, “in a rut”, overwhelmed, alone, etc., but we don’t feel like there is anything that we can do about it.
That’s where we’re wrong, though (and yes, I’m intentionally including me… I’ve been stuck in this mindset for a while now). There is something that we can do… and we even know what it is.
Alright… enough build up. If you want to make your life more the way that you want it, all you need to do is pick one area that you want to change, one goal you want to reach. Now figure out one small step you can take to move in that direction.
When I say small, I mean small. I’m talking about a step small enough that you can do it today, and have it take less than an hour. If you feel alone in your life, your one small step might be to reach out to one person today… it could be someone you know, or a stranger. If you don’t like your job, your one small step might be to figure out what job would make you happy.
Even one small step forward makes a huge difference in your mindset, your mental state. It can start to change your whole outlook, not just on the one area, but on life in general. It can start to relieve stress, depression, and being overwhelmed… with just one step.
If you keep taking small steps, one step per day, you’ll soon find yourself a lot further along than you expected. You’ll also start to teach yourself to approach life, and problems, that way, and you’ll begin to notice that your life is a lot more positive, happy… more the way you want it.
This article, by the way, is my one small step for today.
PS – If you subscribe by email, you can also find A Miracle A Day on Facebook, and as of yesterday, A Miracle A Day is on Google+, as well. Feel free to connect with me in either place (though I spend more time on Google+), and interact… I answer any email, Facebook message, etc., that I see.